Dear Cable: Knock It Off!

Look, Time Warner Cable and Viacom. I don't care who wins this, just end it right now!

Do you think I wanted to wake up at 7 AM to that obnoxious ticker running across Noggin, saying "You will lose this network!" so my 6-year-old screams in terror, and then when I call the number you provide, turns out there's not really anything I can do about it?

How obnoxious.

After I read some reports I'm tempted to be on TWC's side due to the (minimum) 25 cent increase in my monthly bill and for the amount of increase requested. But that ticker! My kid has enough anxiety already, thankew.

Work it out! How about you jettison all those MTV channels and just keep the few everyone actually watches -- Nick, Noggin, Nicktoons and Comedy Central? Maybe then you won't have to raise my bill at all.

I actually wouldn't mind DB's watching less TV for a few days or longer -- I'm pretty sure they'll work it out, and we'll certainly get by with the remaining kids channels available -- I just don't like him being used as manipulation tool.

My Holiday Cooking

The haute cuisine at my house. These are Holiday Crabby Patties: Tofutti cream cheese on oyster crackers (drat you, Bobbie, for that idea!) with added holiday sprinkles.

Apres-Christmas Haiku

I got great gloves seen
on a BlogHer network ad,
nice and cozy warm.

At one point wanted
to go home, then realized ...
I was home. Oh dear,

Then things got better;
One kid hard, with no playmates
to show the new toys.

Grandma pinch-hit, then
I got another great gift:
Son played by himself!

Merry Christmas to the A&P Lady

Merry Christmas to the checkout lady at the West 12th Street A&P in Erie, Pennsylvania. She gave me this pin when I was about 5 (circa 1970, to save you the math).

I don't know the lady's name, don't even know if she's still alive, but my mom tells me she loved seeing me every week when we did the grocery shopping. So one Christmastime she gave me this pin, and I've worn it almost every Christmas Eve since.

She's a little freaky in the picture with those glowing green eyes, but then again, I'd probably be a little freaked if I really saw an angel anyway.

A Day of Milestones

First, I dropped DB off in front of his school without walking him inside. I waited by the car until he was inside, but had every confidence he knew where to go.

Why? It was flippin' coooold, and icy, and no good or even sort-of-good parking spaces were available. So I gave him the option: Walk 2 blocks with me in the 14 degree cold, or I drop you off right in front of the building, and I'll make sure you get inside but have to stay by the car.

He chose wisely.

Next, at bedtime he had a loose tooth! He's not sure how he feels about it -- first excited, then nervous. But that's totally normal.

(He solemnly told me that I am allowed to come to the gingerbread-house project tomorrow afternoon as long as I: Don't burp or fart, don't tell anyone about his loose tooth, and [said with additional sternness] have everything I need. Ooooo-kay then!

Finally, I completed the sessions of my first telecourse tonight. As the teacher! I loved it so much.

A very good day.

Disappointment. Now! With Reassurance and Helpful Pats on the Back

Three children misbehaved on stage at the school concert this afternoon. Two were in pre-k, and no one expects much of the four-year-olds. One was my first grader.

At least the people around me chuckled when DB acted out. So it's not like I have to hang my head in shame.

And the teachers were all very concerned about me. Which is kind of embarrassing but nice that they care. Even his teacher who never talks came out into the hall and really seemed to be sincerely trying to reassure me that he did, if not well, not soo awful -- and that it was a BIG, stage-fright-inducing crowd.

DB has been grousing at me recently that I "care too much" (about him). Usually he says it when I'm trying to clean his nose or fix something on his person. It's a good thing that he's needing a bit more space between us, and I'll try to give it to him without his always having to ask. But on a grander scale, I don't know HOW to care any less.

On the way home today he asked me if he loved me. (He had to know I was disappointed with the shouting he did at the concert.) I love every chance to remind him that yes, I love him and always will, and nothing he ever does will change that.

We got some cool snow today. DB had a blast helping me brush off the car, and even reminded me, though I don't know how he even knows, that our new brush telescopes out -- a feature that came in handy for brushing 2 inches of wet snow off the roof of the car.

He'll be alright someday. Because I care too much.

Casting Call: The Movie Of You

Which actors would play your family members in the Movie de You?

I think for Husband my best choices include Ed Norton...


Kevin Spacey, though I can't imagine Kevin Spacey with facial hair but it could work -- and, uh, Kevin, you're looking a little old, sorry...

and Russell Crowe, who's gone from hottie to snottie in my eyes but I think could pull off the complex depth of personality that IS Husband.

They'd all have to go on an un-diet but actors seem to enjoy making a cheeseburgers-and-scotch daily Sacrifice for their Art.


For DuckyBoy, I'd have to do a casting call for some precocious young cutie like Haley Joel Osment used to be.

BTW, did you know the David Mamet play on Broadway Osment was in closed after just 1 week? You'd think John Leguizamo, Cedric the Entertainer and he would be agreat team. Maybe people are finally sick of "ugly beauty" (to borrow a phrase from the video review) and, given the economy, not too interested right now in the problems of 3 foul-mouthed would-be crooks.

As for me, I'm hoping you have some ideas. Here I am at my best...

and in a candid moment with DB (and Oreo the horse):

Whaddaya think? Annette Bening, maybe? She's so gorgeous, but also on par with Kevin Spacey in terms of age. Who's younger and not emaciated and maybe not quite as beautiful but looks nice? With no trace of an interesting ethnicity?


Hmm.

Prayer for a School Day

God of all creation,
I ask that you be with DuckyBoy today,
comfort and guide him,
support and uplift him
wherever he is --
on the bus, in class,
in concert practice,
everywhere.

May he feel your love,
be filled with a sense of abundance,
and be moved to share his many blessings
with those around him.

Amen.

Saving for Swimming

Poverty Party update:

I'm proud of us that we've figured out a way to SAVE CASH, yes, cold hard cash, out of our weekly budget to pay for DuckyBoy's 2 weekly extracurricular activities, swimming and gymnastics. I don't mind saying things like "No, we can't go to Burger King today because we did X or bought Y instead," but I'd hate for him to not get the little bit of physical activity he gets in his life due to funding issues. Plus, swimming is one of the only things we MAKE him do, so there's that bit of character building that we get thrown in for free with each $40 swim lesson. He always enjoys it when he's there, but sometimes complains beforehand.

Fittingly giving my previous post today, one of the areas we're cutting out is the liquor budget, which Husband has more of an issue with than I do.

I plan to enjoy the lulling effect of watching DB swim this afternoon, and hope the humidity of the pool room and aforementioned lull help the hangover.

In other news, we're thinking of spending upwards of $10k on business coaching. Eek!

Hangovers: Worth it or Not?

Hangovers used to be worth it. You'd drink the wine, feel good, have a great time, and just deal with the feelings the next day.

A few hangovers weren't worth it, like when you wake up and can't stand up. But garden-variety had-a-few-glasses-of-wine type were usually easy enough to soldier through.

But now? Maybe it's because I'm older, maybe it's because I have to get up at 6 am, maybe it's because I work at home (and the comfy bed and couch beckon for a snooze), maybe it's all those things combined.

But this is difficult. The only thing I can say is I DID enjoy the wine last night! And I know I have to pay the price.

More and more, though, the price is getting too high.

How about you?

Library Fun Haiku

Cutting out snowmen
all day in the library,
things we do for kids!

I like library
at DB's school, it's more like
craft time for me.

Nervous to start with
Feared I didn't know enough
but it's really fun.

Feel free to find other haikus at Christina's blog

Breakfast Link

Come on over to my other blog about our adventures with DuckyBoy's school, for the latest breakfast saga. It's really a smaller story than a saga, but the word saga sounds better.

It involves a 6 am start, hot muffins, microwaveable bacon, minds that change from upstairs to downstairs, and transition issues. What more could you possibly want from a post? Haha.

I also managed to brush his hair and get him to brush his teeth this morning. This isn't rocket science, I'm amazed at how difficult it is to accomplish every day. In his fourth year of some form of 5-day-a-week school.

I must be doing something wrong. (The fact that he has NO interest in any self-care doesn't help. Don't most kids WANT to do that sort of stuff, "I'm a big kid now" type of thing?)

For $6k a Month I'd Expect a Better Lifestyle

I'm noticing a cyclical mood swing: Every month when it's time to pay the bills, I get freaked out about spending down our savings on unknown business ventures with an unknown payoff date and amount! Guess I'm just perceptive like that. Hmm, $0 in, $6000 out, Aggghhhhhhhhh!!

On an up note, my wonderfully supportive life coach reassures me today that I am a much different woman than he started working with 2 years ago. I don't feel different enough, meaning I wish I was a different woman who has a flexible job that earns $100,000 a year. I find savings in bits and pieces -- like cutting out $300 a month for a life coach. I will take you up on your offer to email you, Bill ... or maybe I'll just pretend I'm talking to you in my blog, who knows.

Doesn't $6,000 seem like a lot? For it we get to live in an apartment building that's been poorly managed for decades (recent changes notwithstanding), in an apartment that though having been entirely gutted and remodeled just before we moved in 5 years ago, is not up to code in terms of electrical and has peeling paint in the bathrooms.

We also drive a 7-year-old (paid-off) car that we all love but is starting to need more care than we want to pay for.

In order to really save on those monthly expenses it's big things that need to be cut -- like our car, which is kind of a necessity given where DB's school is vis a vis our home, and our weekly expenses - uh, food and the like. I could (and do) drive less to save on gas.

I'd eyeball the digital cable bill, since we're paying for the service on 3 TVs, but DB and Husband would probably cut out eating before they gave up cable. I can try turning off my computer every night to see if the electric bill goes down. We could switch to a cheaper phone service or cut back to the most basic level, since we have 2 cells as well. (The idea of not having a landline at all kind of freaks me out. We needed it during the NYC blackout of '03.)

We do need to look at our life insurance, which is currently more than $100 a month apiece for the 2 of us.

Our weekly cash is $500, which covers groceries (and liquor), the cleaning lady (yes, I could give her up, but she's like a member of the family), the laundry machines, our parking space (if you've ever tried to park in Forest Hills you know that as long as we have the car, we need this space), anything we do on weekends, any night-out activities, babysitters, and pocket change (with which I buy stamps, socks, fast-food kid meals, give to charities, and the occasional toy; not sure what Husband buys). I'm also buying Christmas presents with my weekly cash. We've just decided to cut the monthly cash amount back by $40 a month so DB can keep taking swim lessons next semester.

I feel like we're stretching that weekly dough about as far as can be.

Beyond that, it's where we live. Between the mortgage and the maintenance and the current maintenance assessment, plus the parking space, the cleaning lady, the laundry machines, it's over $3000. Moving would probably cost $6000. So how much lower can we get those expenses to recoup that? Can we buy ourselves two months? Is that worth it?

I feel like I'm a frugal person who's good at finding a few dollars here and there to save. Not that you'd know it from this blog, which was started when I was in high-income mode. At a certain point I realized I was spending more time on combing the coupon circulars than it was worth, given our income, so I stopped. I'm back in sale-shopping mode but don't do the store-hopping I did the last time we were unemployed. Part of the reason I did it then was to have somewhere to go with the toddler DB. When I was lucky, he napped as I bargain-shopped.

Now, I'm overwhelmed by the $6k number, and though I'm saving $1 here and there when I can, I feel like finding ways even to save $20 here and $50 there won't add up to anything helpful in the long run.

I guess we need a better handle on how long we think these businesses will take off enough to cover our monthlies.

But every month I get more and more worried that it won't be soon enough.

Last but not least, got to give props to Bossy and her Poverty Party for making me think critically about the issue instead of freaking inside, which is what I usually do.

Thanksgiving Aftermath

We had one of the best Thanksgivings ever with my in-laws. In addition to their mostly-generous hosting, I must give thanks to my niece for playing with DuckyBoy for hours (and making him giggle, which we almost never hear), to one SIL for making our accidental Black-Friday shopping trip fun and painless, and to my other SIL for driving my phone back to the city!

One of the things that made it low-stress for Husband and I was that Husband declared (in a playful way) on Thursday morning, that DuckyBoy should not have to eat anything he did not want to.

So, the most Thanksgivingy-thing he ate was pumpkin muffins. And he was Happy.As.A.Clam.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I feel so bad for the man who got killed at a Long Island Wal-Mart.

All he did was open the doors!

Husband long ago forbade me to ever go to Green Acres Mall, the location of that Wal-Mart. It's known far and wide for violence and low-class clientele. But who would expect that?? It's just so sad.

I was AT a Wal-Mart on Friday. (Not that one and not at 5 a.m.) I am NEVER at Wal-Mart. So that was weird. As was the fact that SIL and I commented that the store was not as crowded as I expected. And then to hear about a trampling? As they say at DB's school, "That was very unexpected."

What Do YOU Have to Say?

Whoops, a week with no posts? How can that be. Oh, wait, it's only Wednesday. Feels like Friday, doesn't it?

Anyway, let's dish. Restaurant critic Gael Greene has been ousted from NY Magazine after almost 40 years.

I heard it on the radio the other day and just now had a chance to find out how she felt about it. This amusing link makes it clear that she was not ready to retire anyway (which was my suspicion).

Now, I could go on about the state of the publishing industry as a whole -- every day it's something, whether PC magazine going entirely online or Houghton Mifflin deciding not to acquire anything new. Just for right now, they say. Riiight.

Am I sad? Not really. For one thing, although I met some great people and learned a lot, I found publishing as an industry to be cliquish and closed and I never felt a full part of it. For another, I'm not part of it any more.

And last but not least, I've always felt I had something to say, and lots of other people have something to say, that don't fit in that box. My stint at ClubMom, now CafeMom.com, was a great eye-opener as to how many "ordinary" women out there have something unique, helpful, and heartwarming to say.

And now I've discovered article marketing, which can be as hard-core salesly or soft-sell informational as you want to be. Since I've been writing this blog, I've become more convinced that I do have something to say, and I've gotten back in touch with my love for helping others share their story and/or expertise. Helping people do that via article marketing is a perfect match for my skills and passions.

And that is what I have to say today! How about you?

Janny's Sense of Snow

Snow flurries this week!
Exciting for us to see
I wish it was more...

From back in childhood
growing up on the Great Lakes,
I have my own view:

If I'm wearing gloves,
And if it's going to be cold,
there ought to be snow.

Flopsicle

I'm tired of writing posts like this!

I tried, I really did. Tuesday is Ice Cream Day at DB's school and since he can't have dairy he can't sign up for ice cream. The PTA moms who run it soo nicely said I should bring something in he can have, stick it in the freezer for him, labeled, and they'd give it to him each week.

Well. Yesterday was the first chance to do so, and as it turned out I was helping with ice cream. Which I hate. I don't know the kids and it's just a scramble to get it to them before it melts but after they've eaten their lunch. Riiight.

Anyway. I took Popsicles. Turns out they meeeeeeeeeeeelt really quickly. I didn't know that and basically handed my already-anxiety-prone kid a bag of colored water.

Not a great day. I'm not that surprised he didn't want to go to school this morning! But it makes me want to cry when he says things like "I hate first grade, I want to go back to kindergarten" before he's out of bed.

Hopefully today will be better. Parents get to sit in the classroom for something this morning -- I think the kids will read their own writing, but DB claims to have no idea what's happening. He is interested in the fact that there will be bagels involved. Though even there, he seemed only to know when I told him.

Was I so wrong to mention that perhaps the other children's parents will not be cutting up bagels into bite-sized pieces for their offspring to consume? That made him go off on a tangent about how weird he is. ("No, you're not," I replied. "I've met the kids in your class. Z thinks he's Batman.")

Haiku About Article Marketing

Warning, shameless self-promotion ahead. I would have blogged about this anyway today, but I really enjoy thinking in haiku on Fridays!

Much better week this.
Despite an awful chest cold,
exercised my brain!

Turns out I'm good at
translating technology
for writers to use.

My latest venture --
on article marketing,
4-part telecourse.

A free call comes first
So everyone can hear more
on the class and me.

Me? An expert? Huh?
Taking some getting used to,
but the shoe does fit.

Ever notice how
you can struggle and toil
at something for weeks,

And when something works
everything falls into place
and it seems easy.

The sign-up page for my free call on how to Grow Your Following is here. Let me know what you think!

Ms Frizzle, Live and In Person

Me on Halloween, at DB's school. I read to his class and several other K and 1st grade classes. It was a blast, except DB couldn't decide whether he wanted his classmates to call me Ms Frizzle or DB's Mom!

Short and (Bitter)Sweet

Starting a business
stressful to work together
paid the bills Monday

Is it acceptable to end a haiku with, "Argh"?

Dairy-Free Muffin Mom

So here's the breakfast issue around here. DB's school-day breakfast needs to meet all of the following criteria:

* No dairy ingredients.
* High protein. It has to fortify his brain for math, among other things, from 8 AM until snack time at 10:30.
* No peanut butter. (and I feel the need to minimize other nuts, according to what I read about nut allergy; DB does not have a nut allergy but some kids in his school does; nuts are allowed in the lunchroom but not in the classrooms.)
* Dry, not messy, not crumbly.
* Must be able to be eaten by hand, no utensils.
* Larger pieces (like mini muffins) keep DB more on-task about eating than, say, small pieces of dry cereal or bite-size bagel pieces, which DB tends to dawdle at eating). But...
* Can't be too chewy, like a hunk of bagel or ciabbatta roll; DB's mouth gets too tired.
* Preferably can be transported in a disposable container.
* Needs to be variable from week to week (or thereabouts), to keep DB from getting bored.

So. In my book, cereal bars and muffins are the answer. We got through almost 2 batches of rice-krispie bars before he got tired of them, so now we're on a muffin kick (nice for cold-weather, too).

To add more protein, I've started adding rice protein powder. The one I found has 12 grams of protein per tablespoon, so a quarter-cup goes a long way!

We also found recipes in an unlikely place: Nick Jr.'s Holly Hobbie area. Somehow Db navigated to that part of the site one day and really enoyed the muffion-making game, and we've had 2 recipes printed for, oh, FOREVER and I've just got around to trying them out.

Thank goodness for vegetarian sites on the Internet to tell me how to substitute rice milk for buttermilk (answer: add 1 TB lemon juice per cup), and to give me an idea of how to add the rice protein powder, plus a bit of luck and awaaaay we go!

He liked them enough to ask for more without my offering them -- the best test! I think the sprinkling of colored-sugar sprinkles on the top helped, too.

Another muffin source I didn't expect: Trader Joe's Pumpkin Bread mix. It's quite spicy, which appeals to DB's tastebuds. I added 1/2 cup of cinnamon-flavored applesauce, which added even more cinnamon flavor. By accident the first time, I still used the full amount of oil, and the muffins were really moist and chewy. The second time, I halved the oil to allow for the applesauce, but the muffins were drier. Third time, back to the full amount!

Another Internet trick: How to thaw muffins from the freezer. Answer: 20 minutes in a 300 degree oven (which can include the warm-up time) and they taste fresh-baked. Amazing!

This is good for me because making 30-odd muffins means 1 of 2 things happen around here:

1. Husband eats the last 3 that both DB and I were expecting to have for DB's breakfast.
or
2. Halfway through the batch DB gets sick of that for breakfast and wants something else.

Voila, the freezer saves the day!

One more trick I found today: Measure out the dry ingredients twice, and put the 2nd batch ina jar so it's premeasured for next time. (Now, it's possible that I've just TOTALLY jinxed myself and DB will never want corn muffins again.)

I like the premeasure option not because I'm so busy but because, well, this is soo petty but...

The Holly Hobbie corn muffin recipes uses ALL 4 of the measuring cups 0-- 1/4, 1/3, 1/2 and one cup. Usually I use 2, sometimes 3. But for all 4, I like to feel I'm getting extra value for my dishwashing dime.

Edited to add: I thought of another parameter for breakfast:
* Must be within a certain mouthfeel range. not too much grainy texture (so whole-wheat flour, oats, etc. -- nice, high-protein sources -- are marginal.

The Sound of Learning

DuckyBoy mentioned tonight that he hates the sound the clanking coins make all the time in math -- nickels and pennies that they use in counting not only money but also 1's and 5's.

Poor guy! That's already his difficult subject, could be a positive challenge, and now to find out that for at least a month -- hmm, a month, that's about how long he's been acting out at school -- he can't stand the sound of the classroom prop!

I'm lucky he's so articulate about it. "These 2 teeth the most," he said, pointing to his bottom 2 front. Same as when they write on the chalkboard, he said, adding that fortunately they don't write on the chalkboard.

What an easy thing to fix! I hope. Sending 2 options tomorrow -- plastic play coins, or play dollars instead.

In other news, I was proud of myself for making a Parenting Decision all by myself today. DB fell at recess and hit his head, but I decided, after observing the bump, that he could at least try his [impossible to reschedule, already missed a month due to facilities closing] swim lesson. I figured even half the lesson would be better than trying to reschedule it. He tried hard to get out of it, but I stood firm. (Tough for me on something like this.) And he did great. Other than pushing one of his classmates into the pool once. But I don't consider that injury-related. Just his ordinary lack of understanding of danger as more important than his immediate feelings.

Can You Name the 11 Planets?

I thought it would be fun if Ms Frizzle's nails had some scientific theme. So with DB's approval I chose the planets. For reference I took the cool new book 11 Planets: A New View of the Solar System to the nail salon with me.


Hint for above ... the pinkie one is closest to the sun, and the thumb is hidden in the asteroid belt. Uh, I didn't mean to give Earth "the finger" ...

Hint: The planet on this thumb is known for its big red spot, and the 2 on my pinkie are called "microplanets." One of them is new and the other has the same name as Mickey Mouse's dog.

Ups and Downs on Halloween

Once again Ms. Frizzle made an appearance... at least one of the kindergartners thought I was really her, it was cool! Reading to DuckyBoy6's class first thing in the morning was rough for him ... he hadn't adjusted to being in school mode yet enough to be able to accommodate my being there. Next time, I'll know.

One of the things he had trouble with was what he wanted the other kids to call me-- DB's mom, or Ms Frizzle! As soon as they'd call me one name, he'd cry out I was the other. Interesting.

So interesting that I was ready for a shot of tequila by the time I staggered down to the library to read to the Friday classes there.... lol.

Then later, the class party went better. He was no worse, in fact maybe a little better behaved, than the boy whose mom is class mom!

After school, he decided he did want to change his clothes and trick-or-treat as Optimus Prime. We walked around for like 2 hours with 2 of his friends, that's a lot of walking! It was fun to go near school, we saw other kids he knows.

He acquiesced to visit one neighbor, but otherwise was too pooped to trick-or-treat in the apartment building. It was a favor to me that he agreed to go to her apartment, since she's s bit much for him. So I was proud of him for that, and told him so.

Went to sleep in his Optimus Prime costume --with the Love Ducks shirt still on underneath! Pictures to come later...

Integrity Haiku

Oh no! More than a week since I posted, how can that be?

I did something fun today, it was called Integrity Day. Every hour from 10 til 2, I checked in about what I wanted to get done and was getting done. Thanks, Curtis, I got a lot done! And it was free!

Big stacks of boxes
Ever lurking in my room
Got them sorted, yeah!

Stacks of boxes really get to me -- it's a metaphor for all the detritus of my life I have trouble letting go of and moving on from -- so it was good to get 43 piles and boxes moved, categorized, and in the process.

I also got my first extensive facial tonight. I've had them as part of a spa-day package but those were never as intensive as this.

Bus Dream

I had a dream last night about DB's bus. I was undecided about whether to tell him about it -- and then, oddly enough, on our way downstairs this morning he asked me to tell him my dreams. So I told him about it:

Last night I dreamt your bus was like a dune buggy. It was open in the back except for rollbars -- one across the front and back of the passenger section, and then one long one down the center (so it formed like a capital letter "I" from the front to back of the bus).

It was yellow like a school bus and about the same size your bus is now (a minibus). Those details were in response to his questions -- "Was it red?" "Was it a 2-seater?"

The front section had both driver and passenger seats, like a dune buggy, but was open like a jeep.

There was a substitute driver, not the usual guy, who was playing music so loud that the guy was wearing big headphones to muffle the sound (either that, or he was listening to the music through those headphones and it was still so loud if was deafening).

"Did the kids have headphones too?" DB asked me. No, they didn't and there was no way I was going to put DB on that bus with that loud music, and I was baffled as to why anyone else did! His old classmate A. and the kindergartener who actually does sit in front of him on the bus now were in the bus's seats when it pulled up.

I was trying to decide whether to get those kids off the bus and drive them myself as I walked, holding DB's hand, out to the bus to tell the guy I was going to drive DB today.

DB was distracted by a parked car and pulling me to the side of the street, so I had to pull him back toward the bus to finish speaking to the driver.

The driver just nodded when I said I'd be driving DB, then pulled away with the other kids on it. I was left wondering how the police could find the bus if I called them. Or whether it was even the police I should call, or the school? OPT?And then I either woke up or the dream was over.

Ya think I still have some bus anxiety?

How I Save Money on Food

This post is my entry for a BlogHer contest sponsored by Prego Italian Sauce. The winner will be randomly chosen, but as I thought about what I'd say in a quickly posted comment, my ideas sounded so off-the-wall that I decided to pretend it’s an essay contest and try to craft something thoughtful.

I have always been a coupon clipper and rebate/sale circular scanner. However, in the past months we have made the decision to try to start our own business, which means making our current savings last as long as possible. We are also trying to improve our health by eating a low-carb diet, and my son has a casein allergy. These factors mean inexpensive products full of carbs or whey/milk/cheese are off-limits.

If it’s Tuesday, we must be having veggies
We joined a CSA this year – a vegetable coop. It arrives (well, we go and get it) once a week, and since it’s already paid for we’re kinda forced to cook and eat it! It didn’t feel like we were saving money writing the check, but it averages out to $10/week to split a share – with only 2 of us eating these foods, it’s more than enough. We joined because the veggies taste so good – our neighbor gave us some of her extras last year. But it’s been a money-saver too, as I hate to waste food, especially good food, so I make an effort to cook the veggies.

Woo hoo, cheap meat!
There is an episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes into the convenience store and excitedly stuffs himself with on-sale hot dogs and the like that are outdated, have been on the floor, etc. While my choices are nowhere near that, talking about saving money on meat always reminds me of that. I do 2 things here:

1. Sale meat. Really, pork tenderloin isn’t exactly roughing it. And we happen to prefer chicken thighs and wings to breast meat anyway. But how old am I that $2 a pound for the cheap cuts sounds like a lot?
2. Store-brand cold cuts. I love Boar’s Head, but at half the price, it turns out the Stop & Shop brand isn’t so bad. I have 2 supertasters in the house, so that switch wasn’t as much of a no-brainer as it may seem. Mouthfeel is king around here when it comes to meat products. But I took a chance and found an acceptable alternative to $10/lb Virginia ham.

Sufficient unto the week are the groceries thereof
I’ve stopped buying in advance, and am trying to be more mindful of what I already have, and how long it will last, rather than automatically tossing in something I see and know we’ll use (eventually).

This is a big shift for me, born of Depression-era parents who believed in stocking up. There are still a few things I always make sure to have a spare of in the house, but less important things I'm trying to cut back on. This is especially true of snack foods, which are so much fun to get for DB, when I see something new.

Benefits in addition to cost savings include:

• Making more of an effort to wean DB off prepared foods and onto “real food” (like, a grilled-chicken sandwich instead of nuggets). In the past it would have been stressful for him if I were to run out of one of his staples, but now he’ll deal.
• Having less go stale/ become outdated.
• Fewer desserts in the house – none of us really needs them anyway!

Random tips
#1 – I cook late at night sometimes now. In the past I’d think, “I’m too tired, let’s order in.” But in our neighborhood it actually takes less time to cut up veggies and roast 2 pork tenderloins than it does to order Chinese food.

#2 – I take DB with me to pick out the foods that only he will be eating (such as bread). He eats it faster and better than when I take a guess, or always buy the same thing over and over.

#3 – When I do save enough in a week to have grocery money left over, I save it up for the next trip to the pricey health food store for the convenience foods that are hard to live without right now – like enriched, single-serve almond milk and dairy-free breakfast bars that DB takes to school.

Busy Saturday

I just wore myself out telling my friend on the phone what DB and I did today, but honestly, it was a lot of fun. (Times are approximate. I only added them to break up the text.)

8 - 9:30 AM
First I got to sleep in until like 7:30 because so did DB, woohoo! And he let me stay in bed for another show, by which I mean, another half an hour. Then I unpacked all the bags from yesterday that I dumped in the front hallway. I checked my email and cleaned up the kitchen and we both had breakfast. He watched TV happily; I think it's good that he watches less during the week, he gives me a break on weekend mornings and I don't feel too badly about it.

9:30 AM - 1 PM
We played and played, then DB was itching to go to the playground with his bike (trike, actually), so he was ready to get dressed. (A big deal. Most days he'd stay in his pajamas all day if I let him.) I had something more to eat and then off we went.

1 PM - 3:30 PM
When we came back from the playground we hung at home for a little bit, then headed off to try taking the bus to Metropolitan Avenue. Partly to see if we could do it, partly to kill time, partly because the car is so loud and clanky I feel like I should avoid driving it if at all possible.

By the time we were on the bus DB was hungry, so I reminded him that the craft store (our destination) was right near Wendy's. A transfer and half an hour or so later, the bus let us off right in front of Wendy's. Perfect!

As we were eating I realized it was 2:30 and the craft event only went until 3:00. When I mentioned it, he was ready to go -- even suggested packing the fries and drink. Surprising for a person who has. dawdled. all. day.

Less than 5 minutes later we were across the street picking out a foam craft pumpkin -- usually terribly overpriced but a bargain today at $5. The idea of the event is that you get all the decorating bits (big google eyes, pipe cleaner hair, etc.) for that price too, and the woman was really nice about making sure he had time to pick stuff out. But he was so happy with his pumpkin pick -- a white one -- he didn't want anything, liking instead my suggestion to carve a face on it at home. "I got the only white one," was his comment. Interesting.

Quick stop in Trader Joe's next door, got some chips and a root beer for later/tomorrow.

3:30 pm - 5 pm
On the way back to the bus stop, I could see his legs were tired, so we hit the library for a bit. He thoroughly enjoyed the silly words in The Lorax and a special 25th-anniversary edition of Arthur's Nose. Then in 7-11 (Family Rule: do not pass by 7-11 without stopping), my suspicion that he had to pee was proved right; the counter woman took pity on us and let us into the employee bathroom. (DB was impressed that she let us use it despite the big "Employees Only" sign on the door. She said it was only because he was so handsome, and I'm not sure she was kidding.)

Of course, we got some chips at 7-11, though he tried dearly to convince me that a toy would be better. The child with more toys that he knows what to do with needs one more. I didn't bite. He took it well. "These are better than the baked," he pronounced about the regular Lay's chips. Often he picks "Baked! Lays" because, I think, he likes the exclamation point in the middle of the name.

5 - 6:30 pm
On the bus he showed me how to do "The DB Dance" -- didn't even phase him that the bus arrived when we said we'd do it at the bus stop, he just showed me on the bus!

He was up for walking home from the bus stop, the option being to transfer to another bus. We watched some pigeons on the sidewalk snag a piece of bread, he was laughing and enjoying it so much! We tried tossing them one potato chip but decided that perhaps they don't like Lay's.

Went into the kids store ("They always have stuff for kids..." he remarked as he veered in, "...of all ages.")

As we went past our local healthy-food store, I thought I'd try one more thing, and told him if he was up for going in, we could get him some "panda pudding," really the only dairy-free kind I've found (and my attempts to make it are feeble).

To my surprise, he agreed heartily! Didn't even balk at the long line! Carried the bag part of the way home!

Waffled back and forth a bit about whether he wanted to go right to the park again or home to eat pudding first. Decided on home, pudding, then park. Which is what we did -- with bike going to the park with us again.

6:30 pm - 8:30 pm
When it got dark, I finally convinced him to come home... for a bath, a buttered roll and two batches of chicken nuggets (accompanied by Little House in the Big Woods), and 3 more books -- half an hour past bedtime, but my own fault because I was just having such a good time reading to him and on weekends I don't HAVE to be such a slave to the clock -- before I finally said, No mas! I have to call my friend who's coming over!

Alas, my friend is in bed under the weather. But I told her our story and now have told you!

I was a little mad at myself for caving to DB's desire to NOT take the change to the bank on the way, but it worked out alright, since we just had time to eat and get the craft pumpkin.

And I am proud of setting limits today on telling stories. It really could have gone another way.

On My Own

Well, sort of. Husband is at a conference until Sunday night. DB is still with me of course. But tomorrow night I've got the sitter coming anyhow so I can have dinner with a girl friend! And Saturday a neighbor friend is coming over after bedtime to watch a movie.

The bed to myself,
Doing whatever I want,
I need this so much!

Butterfly on My Hand

Yes, it IS October and this is a real, alive, Tiger Swallowtail butterfly on my hand.

It came out of its chrysalis on Sunday, and on Monday I tried to release it. When I first opened the jar, since it was attached to the tissue on the top of the jar it moved itself to my hand, and stayed there for around 20 minutes while I waited for DB's school bus.

Then it continued to stay there while I walked into the street, met DB at the bus, and we walked back to the sidewalk! (I was sheltering it from the wind as best I could.)

Finally I gently moved him onto a flower and we went upstairs. By now I'd personified him and decided he was cold, so I felt a little bad. Especially because I swear he waved a front leg at me in goodbye.

About 15 minutes later I went to check on him. He hadn't moved, and in fact looked like he was clinging to the tiny flower petal for dear life. So I picked the flower and placed flower and insect in the bowl I'd brought with me (just in case he was still there).

It wasn't until Tuesday mid-morning when he began to flutter madly around his big bowl -- during a patch of bright sunshine -- so I released him in the house. He fluttered to the white kitchen curtain, and I opened the window, where he soon flew out. Of course, that was right AFTER I'd spent an hour Googling what to feed him, how long he'd live, and what kind of habitat to keep him in.

Bye, little friend!

He is Number 3 of 4 chrysalises a friend of Grandma's gave us. Butterflies Number 1 and 2 flew right off once they emerged from their jar. (They did wait to be in sunshine to come out, even though they'd been out of the chrysalis for hours and so I presumed their wings were dry.)

It's been cool for DB to look at them up close. "I can see the proboscis" he says -- at least, that's what I think he's saying since he can't quote pronounce "proboscis."

Sporks, Sports and Silence

Miscellaneous thoughts from today...

As I unpacked DuckyBoy's lunchbox I noticed a spork. I held it up to him and commented on it, to which he replied, "Oh, yeah, that's really good for launching things." Is that a boy thing to say or what? I guess it goes with the little balls of tinfoil -- not from anything I packed, mind you -- that also come home in the lunchbox these days (I have my instructions not to take them out).

DB has wanted to go to the playground every day after school this week, and even chose to go this morning, with his scooter, instead of watching TV -- usually his favorite a.m. activity, especially on school days (since he only gets to do it on Fridays when I drive him). So I had the chance to meet the new gym teacher today and tell him he's doing a great job! I know it's something from school since DB comments on how he's liking to stretch his muscles and various things like that. It's so nice to be able to give someone credit where credit is due, especially someone who's having such a positive effect on your child. Nice young man, lots of energy and enthusiasm -- everything a young boy should like!

Last but not least, twice today in the car with DB, there were moments when we did not talk. Like, long enough that I noticed. Now, this is a child who usually want to talk, or listen to me talk, nonstop. Especially in the mornings, or during any transition time in the car, he wants me to tell a story. Silence truly was golden.

Ahhh.

Haiku for Speaking Up

I am so tired
of listening with friendly ears
to others who rant ...

... and think I agree
because I sit quietly --
time for something new.

I'll share my thoughts too;
surely someone wants to know.
I can speak up too!

How to tag this one?
"Citizen" is from school days
but it fits here too.

This is what I want,
to teach my son to speak up
in his adult life.

Not that I think he'd have a problem with that if left to his own devices ... but I certainly have struggled with speaking up, and making my voice heard.

Bacon: It's What's For Bedtime Snack!

DuckyBoy is still a picky eater but now he eats much MORE of what he does eat.

He's liked bacon for a while, but last weekend he ate almost an entire package of Oscar Mayer Ready to Serve Bacon. Tonight, after wolfing down a frozen oat-bran waffle (toasted and buttered), about 10 mini chicken nuggets (close to a full serving per the package), a Tofutti ice cream cone (with an extra scoop of ice cream added halfway through) and a Peeps ghost for good measure, he STILL wanted an after-bath snack an hour later. But he didn't like the sound of anything else sweet; he went for 1/4 cup of penne with Grandma's spaghetti sauce! He ate the whole (albeit small) bowl of pasta with gusto.

And then, bacon! I wonder how much of it he'd have eaten if it hadn't been bedtime. The guy sure can pack it in at night. No wonder he never wants breakfast!

I'm delighted he wants to eat more. Now I just need to wean him off at least a few of his expensive, prepackaged tastes -- chicken nuggets, Glenny's caramel-peanut-butter marshmallow bars, and single-serve Tetrapaks of chocolate almond milk, to name a few $1-a-pop items. Of course he gets his appetite when we try to start our own business and live off our savings!!

I think I'll keep the Ready to Serve bacon; if I had to cook bacon from scratch in that quantity, I never would. And it's one of the few high-protein foods he really likes.

Another exciting food experience to report today: (and, pork-related): After I opined at the grocery store that he was going to have to learn to like ham so he could taste different brands of cold cuts to tell me which his father would like, he actually ... hold your breath... TRIED SOME! Of his own free will. He liked that I reminded him that I think he's a "Supertaster." I think his father is too. Who else do you know who can tell two national brands of peanut butter apart? I live with two people who can.

Speaking of peanut butter, I've got to go to plan B for DB's protein-rich breakfast and snacks at school; a note came home just a few days ago that the peanut-allergy problem has hit our school. Peanut butter is still allowed in the cafeteria (where there's a peanut-free table), but not in the classrooms. Anyone have an opinion on whether almond milk or cashew butter and the like are acceptable alternatives? The Web sounds a bit scary on the cashews, maybe we'd better keep them at home. I'll know more after I call the school nurse about it tomorrow.

Song for My Son

I started writing this for a songwriting contest. The deadline has passed, and I wasn't impressed with this as a song. But I like it as a poem.

I wish you’d know
How much I love you.
I wish I could see
Into the future
And know how you think of me
When I’m not here.

Will you look back and smile
And remember the love
In each lunchbox note
And each kiss and each midnight hug

Or will you remember
The times I said no,
The times I was too tired to read one more book,
The times I had to take care of myself?

You don’t think the way other people do
You see connections we don’t see

You also see connections that aren’t there
Like when we laugh and you think we’re laughing at you

So I’m afraid you’ll remember the wrong things
I do as much as I can of the right things
And hope you feel it in your heart.

New Job: Stylist

I helped with Picture Day at DuckyBoy's school today. Not very impressive, these school photographers. The sales rep was all rosy - "oh, we're trying something new... basically one seasoned pro plus 2 newbies, the old hand is here to make sure they're doing the right things."

Actually, the pro was doing a third of the work, and the other 2 were on their own. Sure, if they got stuck or needed help they could consult him, but it's not like he was watching them. At all.

They were three all about the same -- as I said on my other blog, the one guy thought TALKING LOUDER was the way to get the autistic kids to cooperate (not that he knew they were autistic, but don'tcha have a clue?; the others paid no attention to collars, necklaces askew, or mussed hair.

I was able to spend time for a few classes to do the styling-- even got to tie one kid's tie (do you really send your 4th grader to school without his tie tied and just hope someone can tie it??). But isn't that their job? Guess not.

Well, retake day is already set for November! We'll see how the retake rate is.

Making Money

I started taking a tele-class last night on making money with articles. Primarily it's for the business that Husband and I are working together on, but I see lots of applications for my blog(s) content as well. Interesting to get deeper into the world of the Web.

Affiliates are a big thing: so I talk about a book, and have a link to Amazon, but it's not just A link, it's MY link, and if you click through to it and happen to buy, I get a commission.

This is crazy! But, fair warning, I'm going to try it out. You may get bored with all my pent-up product reviews I heretofore have not felt were worth bothering anyone else with. Now, maybe it's worth seeing if anyone likes my recommendations!

Haiku for a Weekend Off

Don't know what to 'ku
Date weekend for me and hub
Nice to have a break.

Love me my DB,
But need some time off sometimes
to sleep in and veg.

I had a great time volunteering for the 2nd week at DB's school today, now I'm "Mrs. H" (for DB's last name) and I get to help pre-k, K and one 1st grade class (which has lots of kids I know from DB's class last year) with their craft, and I love it.

Who knew?

Oh, and rereading this I feel I should clarify, DB is at this grandparents' this weekend getting him some serious spoiling.

People I Dislike

In the past 43 years I can't remember meeting anyone I seriously disliked. In 2008, so far, I've met 2. Two! What's that say?

Good Behavior Update

I don't think DB's good behavior is related to it's the head injury. I think he has a cold.

Pickles and Honey and Bumps on the Head

Db hit his head on a tow truck Friday afternoon.

How is THAT possible, you ask? OK, picture this:

It's raining hard. He's wearing his oversize Mets jacket with the hood up. He's still got his patch on. (That reminds me, I forgot his patch this morning. Don't care.) He's not really looking where he's going.

The tow truck was parked at the corner. The iron cross bar sticks out at a 45-degree angle at a height of, I now know, about 42 inches.

I had crossed the street ahead of him (it's a quiet street) and was encouraging him to come along and stop looking at whatever he was looking at. His body moved before his head turned and

****W-H-A-M!*****

The first thing he said after he stopped crying was, "Will it be better when I'm a grownup?" Later he said something about "the truck that broke my forehead."

Poor guy.

Needless to say, he wasn't too interested in doing gymnastics after that.

We went inside anyway, mainly because it was pouring rain, and he watched part of the class and played with his friend P (whose sisters take that class) for a bit, then we left.

He didn't black out, he never took that long-nap they warn you about following head injury, yet... I still worry.

I grew up with the mindset of, "If it's not life-threating, there's no reason to go to the doctor." So I'm not the type to drag him to the pediatrician when there's probably nothing they can do.

But I wonder -- because, oddly enough, he was Really Good all weekend. Doesn't that qualify as an uncharacteristic behavior change?

Now, he may have been really good due it it being Birthday Party day (Saturday) and Sunday he had lots of new stimulation from all his new presents. Very possible.

But we also took him to Pickle Day on the Lower East Side, and he tolerated being there and even tried some honey and wanted to buy some.

Last night he said, as he laid in bed, that he was dizzy. How can you be dizzy lying in bed? So I figured it was that dropping-off-to-sleep dizziness. Then he was hot. But fever doesn't show up as a symptom of head injury. (And my Google search about pediatric head injury symptoms didn't give me anything, really, to worry about.)

Then this morning, everything worked right. He woke up and I was right there but didn't startle him. He roused himself, told me he was waking up enough to get up, got his classes, and said "I'm ready," then sat up and headed to the playroom. His bus was late so we had time to do everything: Tell a story (the usual); eat his marshmallow bar; and have a race. We said after we did all that if the bus hadn't arrived, I'd drive him, but just as we finished, the bus pulled up ... and he was OK with it. Amazing.

How sad is it that my delight is tempered with, "Is he OK?"

Wow, Great Party!

We just had DB's 3rd-of-3 birthday parties for the year. Do ya think he's turned 6 enough?

I actually think this was a good year to celebrate a lot. So far he's doing really well adjusting to school. First week was a bit rough, but now that week 2 is behind him, he seems to be getting into the swing of things.

We've got a printed list of what we need to accomplish in the mornings (which helps me as much as, if not more than, it does him), he has a nice long swim lesson with another student, a girl who's a better swimmer than he is -- good for the stretch! We're getting the breakfast-snack-lunch components tweaked so he's not complaining of being hungry in the mornings (why are wholesome foods so expensive? I spend $100 at the grocery store, then pick up a few things at the health food store and it's another $50!) And he's already had one social story come home about being flexible re: who walks him from the bus to class in the mornings.

Oh, and no early session on Fridays, so he gets to watch tv and take a little more time getting ready one day a week. (I wanted that last year, but they slotted in an OT session he wasn't supposed to miss.)

And while a bump on the head yesterday stopped him from getting back into the swing of things at gymnastics, at least he was there for a few minutes (while he recovered; he bumped his head across the street from the gym) in prep for being there Today! For! His! Party!

I was a bit of a crazy person this morning; I baked his cake(s) last night but had to cut and frost them into a bear today, and we had an appointment at the accountant (is there a prize for being the last people to file your '07 taxes?) at 9:30 and I had this idea we had to leave at 1 for the party.

Fortunately, around 11 am I realized our party did not start until 4:00, so I had a chance to relax. (Once I called the restaurant we were ordering chicken satay from and corrected the pickup time from 1:00 to 3:00!)

And at least the cake was all done!


{Edited to add: I'm so proud of my cake
I uploaded it to the Website
that gave me the idea, Coolest Birthday Cakes.}

So, Party. DB did great; when he needed a break from the noise and activity, he took one; he sat on a rocking toy by himself, or came out into the vestibule for a drink, and about 5 minutes before the end of the gym portion, which is long -- an hour! -- he simply staked his claim at the table in front of a slice of pizza and waited for everyone else to join him.

It's nice to go somewhere that the staff knows your child, and lets him do what he needs to do. As they do in class, they encourage him to rejoin the group, but don't see the need to force it during a party.

Sure, there were a couple of glitches. We did Bears2Go along with the gym, and the first thing they do is color the shopping bag they'll put their bear in. He was anxious, probably just because I wasn't in the room with him, and needed to be sure I'd help him stuff his bear. Once reassured, he wrote his name and a couple of cute happy drawings on his bag.

Since we've attended other parties there, he's been waiting for his turn to be "in the parachute" --the b'day kid gets tossed around. So when the parachute came out, DB wanted to hop into the center right away, but they had a few warm-ups to do first. He had a hard time listening to that answer, and waiting, but after a few stern words from me (I basically said, "You can calm down and wait, or we can go home ... ") he dealt with it.

And then he was great. Even rolled in the big circle (hard to describe...)
ate pizza-with-the-cheese-removed (his choice to have regular pizza be the food -- it's what everybody serves, so I think he just wanted the whole package), tolerated the always-off-key rendition of Happy Birthday, blew out his candle -- didn't even wig out when the candle blew out as the cake was placed in front of him, just waited --waited!! -- while it was relit, blew it out, ate a bit of cake, WOW.

As I write it all down, I'm blown away. And I even got a super-nice compliment from Husband that I did a great job with the party.

This was a big expense that we agreed to and then promptly lost our steady source of income. I'm glad we did it. I like having parties at home, will happily continue them in the future, but this was really special.

And the look on those little girls' faces when they got to pick a Unicorn!! With Heart-shaped Feet! to stuff? Absolutely Priceless.

Happy Haiku Friday!

Well, here's my week in a nutshell (if haikus fit in nutshells. What's a Japanese nut?)

A new thing today,
working the school library,
a regular gig.

Fridays are better
with a later-hour start;
wanted this last year!

Big party weekend --
Hub worried about cost but --
It's already spent.

Doing our startup,
'07 taxes still due,
Got to trust the Lord.

Words of Wisdom for the Day

"Never go with a hippie to a second location."
-Alec Baldwin (his character), 30 Rock
How have I not been watching this show? It's hysterical!

and then there's this, from Sharon at Motherhood: The Ultimate Survivor:
"It’s not that I don't care and I’m not trying to keep it all together. It's just that I'm trying harder to keep it all from falling apart."
I read her whole post Our Messy House and laughed so hard I cried. My favorite part was the faces on the acorns, because that sounds like me.

Mets Game Rained Out

Poor me, I am watching the rain lash the window at the exact time when the Mets game I bought tickets for is supposed to be starting. I have never, ever bought tickets before, so the one day I do, and actually DID it, decided I would get my native-New-Yorker son to a game at Shea before it gets torn down forever, we get a Tropical Storm??!! Geez.

Anyway the game has been rescheduled for an earlier-afternoon start tomorrow, which is probably better all around. But had I known that before 2 pm, I wouldn't have let him watch TV the ENTIRE morning. I'd have dragged his butt outside for some fresh air before the rain and wind started. As it is, we had enough time for a quick trip to the park anyway. Nice to live right next door like that.

I also would not have spent as much time interacting with him all morning, since I am now Sick Of It and want time to myself, whilst he of course wants more, more, more Mommy. More Mommy Is Always Better.

Husband is, of course, watching television. That's his idea of child care, letting DB watch TV (actually technically DB is on the laptop) while he watches TV. And does anyone wonder why I interact with DB so much? If it weren't for me the kid would get no interaction at all! And so our family afternoon consists of the 3 of us in 3 different rooms in front of 3 different screens.

I told Husband to call me on his cell phone if he wants me; I'm tired of the both of them calling out to me from a different room when they want to tell me something. "I want to tell you something, but it's not important enough for ME to get up and find YOU; you stop what you are doing and come to me." I'm fed up with that.

To his credit, DB came to me just now to tell me about the site he's on.

I worry about him being on the Internet with out one of us in the room, but so far he's still site-based and game/activity-based, like Playhouse Disney or PBS kids, but I still check in from time to time. If I sat with him and also watched every show with him the way I'd feel most comfortable (the way I used to when he first started to use both these mediums), I'd have no free time at all during his waking hours. None.

Logos

Dear Stop and Shop,

Why do you ask me to fill out the consumer surveys if you're not going to listen to me? I TOLD you that your logo did not need to be changed, but did you listen? No. You changed it anyway.

Of the ones you had me evaluate, at least you picked the one I liked. Really, it was the only one that made any sense, the others were ridiculously off-target.

But my son is very unhappy! Why change a perfectly good, vehicle-related, red-light green-light logo for one that looks like, **heavy sigh**, a salad bowl?? You understand how this makes no sense to a 6-year-old wheels nut.

On the upside, your new logo is saving me money since DB now insists on buying your store brand as much as possible, since the packages still have the old logo on them. I'm sure I will be reusing them until the cardboard falls to pieces and then taping the boxes together to continue to hold graham crackers until he graduates from high school. Thanks a lot.

Also, I am still waiting to be the one who wins the $100 grocery money for filling out the surveys. Surely it's going to be my turn soon. If you'd prefer, I'd be happy to be the groceries-for-a-year winner in honor of the new look. I'll even take back what I said. Well, maybe not. But I'll say something nice about the bowl.

And, since it's Haiku Friday, I'll try to 'ku it:

Oh dear Stop & Shop,
why must you introduce change
don't you know our pain?

Contrasts

Same beach (basically), but two very different experiences. His issues? My expectations? The presence of dad? Probably a combination of factors. You be the judge:

Part 1.
On Friday afternoon DuckyBoy and I went to one of the big state parks near us, Jones Beach, just to get to the beach once this summer. We went to the nature center first, since I was pretty sure he'd like that. Since we got there late in the day, we had the place to ourselves; he got to help the ranger feed the turtles (and I fed a live cricket to the toads), we also saw frogs and mussels and a starfish (who was eating a mussel -- very cool), played with the puppets, and he was pretty good about walking the boardwalk they have set up around the dunes. Not much to see, so I'm sure it wasn't his thing, but he didn't complain too much. We dug around outside in the sand in the "bone yard" they had set up, he was into that as well.

He must have been getting hungry since he asked the ranger if she had anything to eat; she didn't, but showed us what other part of the park to go to.

We were the next-to-last car to leave the nature center; they block off the entrance at that time of day, so we were sort of "locked in"; he liked that, and even said, "Being closed in the nature center makes me feel ... fun."

Then we headed down the parkway to the beach with the Friendly's concession. Silly me, I was looking for an actual Friendly's so at first I missed it, but we doubled back and found the right place.

By then it really was his dinner time, so the first thing we did was order nuggets and fries, which they had (scoring big points with DB), then picked a spot on the beach to spread out our blanket and eat them. Our spot was pretty close to the concessions, but I didn't think that mattered; we were there just to be there, I had no expectations. I didn't even care if we went in the water.

So, he ate and we watched the seagulls inch closer and closer. I love to make up conversations with the animals -- "I'm just being neighborly, standing here close by in case you need to throw away a french fry, I'm here for ya," -- that kind of thing. I drew a circle in the sand around the blanket and told the gulls to stay behind it, which tickled DB to watch them inch up to it ... and, to our surprise, not cross it! Which elicited much laughter on both our parts.

And then, we ran into friends we haven't seen in, like, a year, and spent an hour or so with them, closer to the water. DB built a sand castle, we told a story about the miniature king and queen (and all the princes and princesses and ladies in waiting and knights and cooks and butlers) who lived there. He LOVED telling a story with a REAL prop right in front of us. LOVED it.

So, all in all, a great afternoon. Just 3 hours, we never even put our swimsuits on, and it didn't matter.

Part 2.
I had such a good time with him that I wanted to go again on the weekend. So we went back on Sunday, with Husband too, good sport that he is to brave the area's most popular state park on a holiday weekend afternoon. It wasn't overly crowded, but the parking lot was full for the beach we'd gone to on Friday so we chose another, with a much further walk to the water.

Well.

As soon as we arrived, DB started to ask when we could get nuggets and fries. Now, Husband and I have had.it.up.to.here with this kid's proclivity to eat tiny bits of food at mealtimes and then be Insistently.Hungry.Again in, like, 2 hours. So we weren't in the mood to pay to feed him when we'd just eaten lunch an hour before. He couldn't have been THAT hungry. I figured it was more his trying to recreate the routine from Friday.

Since the concession/showers building was far from the water, we needed to put our suits on before spreading out the blanket and settling down. Well, he didn't want to put on his suit. Poor Husband had to deal with that one. Didn't help anyone's mood.

Once that was accomplished, we headed across the sand. He wanted to pick a spot right near the building (partly repeating the routine, partly he hates to walk.) Husband and I wanted to go in the water, so we made him trudge. Whine, moan, complain, can we get Friendly's. Can we get Friendly's.

It was a far enough walk that we weren't looking forward to making a special trip back up to the building just to get him the food, especially since we still didn't think he was THAT hungry, so we said we'd get it LATER.

Oh, geez. Too vague. Whine, whine, whiiiiiiiine; it was so bad that Husband and I jointly stopped more than once and contemplated going right back home. (We're rarely on the same page like that, so that was actually good for our relationship, though we'd of course rather not have been having to deal with it at all!)

We told DB, and reminded him it would NOT be fun-n-games with Mommy at home, or relaxin'-with-the-TV; he'd be in his room, alone. So he had to pick. He did his best to complain less.

So, finally, we get near to the water and get the blanket set up, and his sand castle building stuff, which he was looking foward to on the ride out. And he's STILL asking about those d*mn nuggets and fries!

Then Husband went in the water and pronounced it cold. OK, so he went in a little later, and I coax DB down to the water's edge (he only walks on the sand with his Crocs on, mind you). I tell him he just has to get his feet wet, he's whining and complaining about that. I tell him no nuggets and fries unless he gets his feet wet. He still is close to freaking out.

Finally his feet get wet, it's not sooo bad, then we tell him he can stand or sit on the edge while Husband and I go in just a little. Like, literally, not even up to my waist. I just wanted part of me in the water, so I could tolerate his fuss, fuss, fuss by the seaside. Fine, whatever.

Then, suddenly, he's screaming; there were flies on the water's edge and he got bit, since, duh, he's standing still! I know I should be more sympathetic but I just am not. *Sigh.*

Anyway, that got us out of the water and back to the blanket, where not only does he want to drink my lemonade instead of his specially-picked root beer, but he also wants to sit.on.my.lap.

Yes, the child will turn 6 years old tomorrow, and he wants to sit on my flippin' lap at the beach. Husband nixed that for me, which I appreciated since I don't know how to say no.

And again he's asking about the nuggets and fries. We finally had to use our standard ultimatum, which is: "We know you want them. You know we're going to take care of you. So if you ask about it again, you don't get it." And we got out the Pringles, which helped too.

So then he settled down a bit and directed me on making a sand castle for him. (This is a running joke with Husband now, that DB is the Executive and I am the Do-er; like this morning DB said, "Let's tell a story about a car, it's his first day of first grade but he is scared. Not like me, I am not scared." And then he sits back and expects me to tell the tale.)

And so, I made a sand castle. He turned out to be interested in the sand underwater at the bottom of the pail, and the bits of shells and whatever we could find to float in the water; "a miniature beach!" he called it.

So, OK, he's interested in something beach related, I'm happy.

And, since the sun was bright and we didn't know about the umbrella rentals back at the building until after we'd trekked to the water, we didn't stay too long, us with our Germanic-Scottish pale pink skin.

He was good about not being able to take the "miniature beach" with us, pouring it out when we left. After much discussion, he also seemed to like stepping on the day's sand castle; Friday's we had left as-is. (So it was just as well we didn't return to the same beach to find it gone!)

Finally, finally, he got his nuggets and fries, and didn't even complain about standing in line with me for it. He was happy to eat it on the way home -- even suggested that himself -- and ate a good amount of it, too.

But geez, Husband and I were pretty emotionally drained!

On the upside, though, we Got To The Beach As a Family Once. And the day after, sounds like the water was closed and even some of the parking lots at Jones Beach, due to tropical-storm related high tides. So we went on the right day, for Husband and me anyway!

I Get No Respect

As emailed to Common Sense Media:

Hi,
I've enjoyed getting your reviews for some time. Just wanted to make you aware that disagreeable media is far beyond the traditional: I was at Staples (the office supply store) with my almost-6 year old today and there was an "Easy Button" for kids. In addition to "That was easy" it also said things like "Go ahead, stay up late" and "You're right, they're wrong" and "You can do your homework later" (not sure of the wording on that one, it was something about homework). I was not happy that they would chose to make an innocent item like an Easy Button so undermining to the family! It took me hours to explain to my son why I would not buy it for him!

- - - - - -
My refusal must've had a big impact on DuckyBoy. Several hours after we were at Staples, during which time we met with his Bestest Girlfriend in the Universe Who We Have Not Seen All Summer, and had loads of fun at a Burger King with a huge playspace and then went with her to a nature center that had animals, a walking trail AND a gift shop, he STILL asked me, as we exited the car on our way home, why I did not buy that Easy Button For Kids for him.

When I explained that those were things that parents would not like, it was pretty cute that he said something like, "But kids say those things, which is why Staples decided to use them."

To which I replied, "And I can decide not to buy that item." I told him I'd be more likely to buy him a traditional Easy Button (which he's coveted for some time, which just says, "That was easy") than that one. It was an interesting, brain-stretching conversation for me, at least.

I feel like such a Parent!! It's not that bad of a feeling though. Hmm.

Tricky Kid

DuckyBoy's latest funny attempt to trick us:

No DB, I can't carry you.
That's OK, just pick me up.
After being picked up: OK, now walk!

Early Saturday Haiku

Darn it just missed it
Wasted time at The Dark Knight,
left before the end.

Movie was too real,
Yucky violence too much --
in a lighter mood.

Better time at bar
watching Olympic divers
feeling better now.

Vacation Haiku

On vacation now
A road trip for fam'ly fun --
A bit of a risk...

Yes, we're in the midst of a Pennsylvania-Ohio-Indiana road trip right now. I told a friend our plans before we left and she comment, "You like it complicated."

I guess I do. That actually explains a lot. Will have to muse more on that later!

Too Many Little Purple Potatoes

Last week's veggie co-op included 2 lbs of potatoes (actually 4 but our half was 2), most of which were tiny and purple.

Now, I love me my purple potato chips as much as the next urban woman with too much disposable income, but this was the real deal. Now I know why that bag of chips costs so much -- these suckers were about as big as big cherry tomatoes, and EACH one of them had to have bad spots cut out (OK, that's where the organic part of the farm shows itself).

I felt like I was carving pebbles.

As I was scraping some, peeling some, and digging at each little purple stone, I questioned the sanity of putting in that amount of effort for an unknown payoff. Are they really going to be 5 to 10 times better tasting than the small red potatoes from last week, that were easy to clean and delicious?

So since I am big on metaphors, I looked for one here. Where's my Staples button because THAT was easy... I have waaaay to many little purple organic potatoes cluttering up my life.

Little tiny things that I didn't ask for, that take up too much time, for questionable payoff.

And the trouble is, I don't always recognize them. Until I've wasted a lot of time on them, anyway.

Meanwhile, I let 5 beautiful, organic, crunchy carrots from the week before go soft in the fridge. I am sick to my core for that -- no excuse to let such good produce go to waste. Now, I am not going to continue to beat myself up for it (as I would have in the past), but it does upset me. I thought I'd get to them, I just never did.
*Sigh.*

Friends & French Fries

Wow, I haven't blogged in a week!? Summer vacation -- with no summer school session -- will do that, I guess! Plus a self-imposed deadline for the book I'm helping DH with. Plus a rubber duck race and a trip to NJ to see friends!

Thank goodness for Haiku Friday, keeping me honest. I wrote this one while DuckyBoy actually played with another kid -- that's always worth the hourlong drive to Jersey, let me tell ya!! -- and the other mom was outside watching her younger son in the kiddie pool, since he was sleeping when DB and her daughter went in earlier. Two kids under age 5, I don't envy her that! But her cooking skills, and her ability to lose weight and keep it off for a year -- those things I envy.

I digress. Ahem [making that throat-clearing noise]...

In BK drive-thru
I had a surprising thought
about what I eat:

Turns out that I don't
Need french fries to be happy.
Now how about that?

NYC now requires fast-food chains to list calorie counts on their menus. It's been eye-opening to say the least, and it has, I hope, changed my choices for the better. Burger King has a veggie burger that's not half bad, and their new apple fries are good too (if you leave off the caramel dipping sauce, which I didn't try since it has milk in it). Today when DB and I went through the drive thru, I realized I wasn't really hungry enough to get fries, so ... drumroll, please ... I didn't. I just got the veggie burger and a small soda.

Sounds like such a little thing, right? But I've gotten so conditioned to ordering a side of fries -- or a side of something, anyway -- that I give myself points for breaking out of the rut.

Midday Haiku

Usually I remember about Haiku Friday after we've gone out and I'm checking my computer while DH is driving the babysitter home. For a change, I'll try it midday (and sober) today!

The last day of camp,
DuckyBoy is so happy
comfort awaits him.

He can hardly wait,
TV and computer games
in his pajamas...

What he doesn't know
Are all the plans I'm making
To keep him moving.

I want him to rest
But not turn couch potato
for he gets cranky.

Got Those Summer Camp Blues

He complained today,
"Camp is killing my summer,"
he'd rather be home.

His cough has faded
during the daytime at least ...
Back to camp he goes!

Just one more week there
One full week of just half days
Does it help or hurt?

When I read too much
I wonder if it hurts him,
Pressure to conform.

Yet I survived it;
Part of life is adapting
where you don't fit in,

Until you can find
the people and places that
accept who you are.

Happy Haiku Friday!

If you need a pick-me-up, I recommend "Mamma Mia." Pierce Brosnan can't sing, but he gets points for trying.

Imaginary Friends

What does it mean when a child says his imaginary friends are bothering him?

When I picked up DuckyBoy from school/camp today, he told me the Nothings had been bothering him.

The Nothings are a passel of invisible critters shaped like ... shapes. Circles, squares, triangles, rectangles and, I think, hexagons. If I remember correctly, they are all purple. Whole families. Some hatch from eggs and other are mammals, and they switch with each generation -- so the Nothings that hatched from eggs bear live young, and so on.

But today they were hitting, kicking, and pinching -- though I opined that it must be hard to tell those actions apart since the Nothings have no arms, legs, hands, etc.

Sometimes Ducky, his other imaginary friend, up and moves to New Zealand with no warning and we have to call Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and get things straightened out with the powers that be (which we have, of course, imagined -- we never speak to any particular character from the show; nor does this idea exactly fit the concept of the show).

But today was different. DB told me to talk to the Nothings and to threaten to shut down the Nothing Day Care Center -- which is what we played on Thursday afternoon I think -- and then DB even invented a time machine to transport them all to another time so they could taste life without him.

All but one; the tiniest Nothing baby stayed behind and rode on the steering wheel until DB invented a return time machine and brought everyone else back. (All this took place in the car on the way to gymnastics.)

They were much chastened, I guess, since they said and did no more.

I think he was upset with someone and just couldn't quite deal with the reality.

What Do Police Medals, a Chicken Cutlet, and the R Train Have in Common?

Answer: DuckyBoy today.

We had a great time at the NYC Police Museum today.

More accurately, we had a great time taking the subway to the Police Museum, walking several interesting blocks through downtown Manhattan to the museum, racing through the museum, checking out the gift shop, getting something to eat, and taking the subway home.

I could have spent longer looking at every photo and placard, but that's me; DB's dad has taught me not everyone likes to do that, so we usually compromise somewhere in between. Since he wasn't with us, I made DB compromise just a bit.

I never know what will pique his interest -- he was the most interested in the Medal of Honor on display in the 9.11 exhibit, awarded to the police officers who died that day. And all the badges. And he could relate to the exhibit about the School Safety officers since he sees one at school every day. He was interested in all the different divisions of the NYPD.

The pretend jail cell freaked him out because of the super-squeaky door. Whatever it takes, right?? So don't go to jail and the doors will never be that squeaky, yah!

The "getting something to eat" was a big deal, a big success: We ate at a deli, just a standard NY deli, but a good one -- one with yummy chicken cutlets -- which DB deemed nuggets and promptly ate enough that I was satisfied he ate enough! It's a good thing to drag the kid on the subway and through a (small) museum before he gets to eat. Come to think of it, maybe that's why he was in a hurry... no, he didn't mention being hungry till we left the museum.

The subway ride was nice on the way home; today was 94 degress or some such crazy number, so DB was pretty tired out. he actually put his head on my lap and closed his eyes, more than once! He never does that!

But he perked up for swimming. The cold pool probably helped.

After that we hooked up with Daddy and DB got a ride on Dad's shoulders the whole rest of the way home. That was a good reward for him to get, he did well today.

That is, once he stopped pushing me! Like, he comes up behind me and SHOVES me! What's with that?! I told him the next time he does it he owes me $1. Now he owes me $6 or $7 because after he forgot and did it again, he didn't believe me about his fine and kept doing it. I told him if he does all my shredding (he's the head shredder anyway but this pile is above and beyond his usual duties) I'll call it even. I just want to make him think.

Finally, bedtime!
Seems like it will never come,
And he drags it out.

What is with this kid,
We spent all day together
Still can't let me go?

Five years I wait for
Him to want to separate;
Still waiting most days.