Haiku Friday: BlogHer '10 Edition

How embarrassing ...
Spent the day at BlogHer '10
but forgot to 'ku!

Some hostess I am ...
I do better in person,
snacks, drinks I can do!

Maybe need to think
of hosting haiku as more
of a house party!

I'll try to redeem myself with a few photos of the day... obviously, DuckyBoy came with me ... his shirt (made by me) has his blog URL on it. :)

On our way into the hotel for the conference,
there was Mrs. PotatoHead getting out of a cab!


We also saw the Pillsbury Dough boy ... I saw him twice.
DB enjoyed poking him in the stomach to hear him "Tee heee..."

After the 4th or 5th poke, the Doughboy started to poke DB back!!
(Which made him "tee hee" too...)


Duckyboy really wants this Tempurpedic-material bear!
Me, I want to win the 2-free-mattresses giveaway!!


The S'mores suite was amazing, they recreated a hotel suite to look like an actual campout. Very unique and cool. In addition to eating 2 S'mores, DB snagged an awesome set of telescoping marshmallow toasting sticks, in a case!! Plus, they filled his backpack (not everyone's mind you, just his...) with Jet-Puffed marshmallows, Honey Maid graham crackers, and Hershey's chocolate. No other brands will ever do for him again!! And, now we MUST go camping.

So, what are you doing this weekend? (I think I asked that last weekend too! It's summer, people do interesting things...)

How to Care for Your Bossy

Having had the delightful chance to be part of the first stop on Bossy's (No) Book Tour 2010, and being the helpful type who does things like take pictures with Bossy's camera of the cameraman taking pictures of Bossy, and make the cameraman feel welcome by chatting amiably with him -- we talked about his wife! honestly! ok, and his brilliant movie idea! -- I thought I would compose a few hints for those of you who are anxiously, I mean eagerly, awaiting Bossy's arrival in your town.

Here are a few items you should be sure to think of ahead of time, by which I mean at least a few minutes before Bossy arrives, to help make your Bossy comfortable in her new surroundings:

1. Do you have your Bossy's drink of choice?
Bossy likes cocktails. Does the place where you are meeting Bossy have good cocktails? Bonus points for cool cocktail glasses.

Remember, too, that your Bossy is driving, so make sure she can safely get to her bed for the night. (Though I hear she is planning to test out the comfortability of the backseat of her Ford Fusion, I don't think "I slept in the car because I was too drunk to drive" is what Ford had in mind when they gave Bossy the car for her tour.)

2. Do you have toys for your Bossy?
By toys I mean, of course, persons with a Y chromosome.

There is a wide range of acceptable male attendees. Charming, handsome and at-or-close-to legal age seem to be preferable qualities. Use your own good judgment based on who you'd want to greet you at an event in a strange city.

(You don't really have to worry to much about this one, as my few encounters with Bossy have indicated she has an unusual ability to attract this type of amusement on her own. I hope she'll post her secrets some day.)

3. Don't forget to feed your Bossy!
This should be obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget things. Especially if you are in a back room with no waitress service. So do what you must to flag down that inattentive bartender and get some food!

4. Make sure you take pictures of your Bossy.
You have a beautiful Bossy in your midst; don't forget your camera, or charge your phone, or whatever you need to do.

You might want to grab a friend and practice the arms-length-photo-of-yourself-and-Bossy beforehand. Or, you can forget to do that and end up with pictures of everyone else and just hope you show up in someone else's photos as proof you were there. (Whew, I made it into one.)

Bossy Bonii:
(the word "bonuses" just isn't unique and special enough for Bossy)

5. Can you meet somewhere that will enable Bossy to see some Local Sights as well as enjoy everyone's company? Bossy has scheduled herself solid with driving, sleeping, and eating at Burger King, and as anyone who's driven on the US highways knows, that's no way to see the country. (If not, see #2 above.)

6. This is going to expose me as the 100% dweeb that I am, but I gotta be me, so here goes: If you're at all inclined this way, toss some pens into your bag or pocket. Specifically, your Bossy needs a coupla Sharpies (for nametags) and a coupla regular, blue or black ink pens (for photo/video disclaimers and signing Bossy's guestbook). You may even get them back!

Edited to add:
You may wish to schedule a recovery day for yourself following your Bossy Visit. I mean, Bossy was here Tuesday and no way could I sit at my computer long enough yesterday to write this.

Edited again to add the link to my Flickr photos.

Saving for Swimming

Poverty Party update:

I'm proud of us that we've figured out a way to SAVE CASH, yes, cold hard cash, out of our weekly budget to pay for DuckyBoy's 2 weekly extracurricular activities, swimming and gymnastics. I don't mind saying things like "No, we can't go to Burger King today because we did X or bought Y instead," but I'd hate for him to not get the little bit of physical activity he gets in his life due to funding issues. Plus, swimming is one of the only things we MAKE him do, so there's that bit of character building that we get thrown in for free with each $40 swim lesson. He always enjoys it when he's there, but sometimes complains beforehand.

Fittingly giving my previous post today, one of the areas we're cutting out is the liquor budget, which Husband has more of an issue with than I do.

I plan to enjoy the lulling effect of watching DB swim this afternoon, and hope the humidity of the pool room and aforementioned lull help the hangover.

In other news, we're thinking of spending upwards of $10k on business coaching. Eek!

Ups and Downs on Halloween

Once again Ms. Frizzle made an appearance... at least one of the kindergartners thought I was really her, it was cool! Reading to DuckyBoy6's class first thing in the morning was rough for him ... he hadn't adjusted to being in school mode yet enough to be able to accommodate my being there. Next time, I'll know.

One of the things he had trouble with was what he wanted the other kids to call me-- DB's mom, or Ms Frizzle! As soon as they'd call me one name, he'd cry out I was the other. Interesting.

So interesting that I was ready for a shot of tequila by the time I staggered down to the library to read to the Friday classes there.... lol.

Then later, the class party went better. He was no worse, in fact maybe a little better behaved, than the boy whose mom is class mom!

After school, he decided he did want to change his clothes and trick-or-treat as Optimus Prime. We walked around for like 2 hours with 2 of his friends, that's a lot of walking! It was fun to go near school, we saw other kids he knows.

He acquiesced to visit one neighbor, but otherwise was too pooped to trick-or-treat in the apartment building. It was a favor to me that he agreed to go to her apartment, since she's s bit much for him. So I was proud of him for that, and told him so.

Went to sleep in his Optimus Prime costume --with the Love Ducks shirt still on underneath! Pictures to come later...

Groundhog Hangover

Now that my Very First Post is out of the way, here's what I wanted to say that made me go through the laborious process (not) of starting a blog. If I'd known it was that easy I'd have started one a long time ago; why didn't anyone tell me? Sheesh. Anyhoo..

I was doing dishes after reading blogs this morning and had this thought but it sounded, not to flatter myself, like someone else. So, since that person is a better writer than I think myself to be, I thought I'd write the thought down!

And then I wondered, do women who blog and read one another's have writing styles that gradually move closer together, like that menstrual-cycle thing where women who live or work together have cycles that gradually happen at the same time each month? Ah, thank you Internet, I found the name for it: "synchronous menstruation." So I guess this would be "synchronous musings."

Which brings its own set of musings, as it would appear that the jury is out on whether that synchronous periods are a real phenomenon or not. With most of the critics being men, and most of the women being all, "Duh."

And now I've quite forgotten my original brilliant thought. Oh, yes. The party. So, I had this kickass party for Duckyboy on Saturday. We had a Groundhog Day party, complete with banners (with groundhogs), games (with groundhogs), and snacks (shaped like or reminiscent of groundhogs and/or their burrows). Everyone who wasn't feverish or contagious was there, toys were strewn everywhere, Duckyboy now likes to say "It's not a party until someone's in their underwear" (me and my big mouth) and, I thought, a good time was had by all.

Until this morning. Now, Monday morning is always a bummer at our house, coming as it does on the heels of 2 days that involve lots of Mommy and very little homework, not so many rules, and little need to sit still and quietly for long periods of time without a TV on. Today's bummer began, as usual, with coaxing the poor kid out of bed at 6:40 am, and proceeded to a stint at the still-partified kitchen table and this:

DB: Mommy? Can I make a groundhog? [One of the crafts I had lovingly handcreated for son and his little friends.] I didn't get a chance to make one at the party.

Me: Expose chest. Insert knife into heart! Dissolve into sobbing mass on floor. Oh, wait, still have to get the kid on the bus in 5 minutes and he's not dressed yet... Of course, sweetie! I didn't realize you didn't make one!

(We'd made a sample together a couple of days beforehand; frankly, at the party, I forgot.)

We made one then and there. Yes, even before I made him get dressed. How could I possibly have put him on the bus without having made a groundhog???

DB: I tried to tell you, but you were too busy helping S. make hers.

He didn't tell me. I'm perceptive like that. He may have also been sitting there and if I was Truly A Good Mother it would have occurred to me that he wanted to make one too. But honestly, I don't even remember him sitting there.

Am therefore spending part of today trying to figure out how to make it up to him when he gets home. Reliving the party, with him as special guest, is ranking high on the list. Without the bagels though, since I've eaten or frozen all the rest. I will make punch -- any excuse to make punch! -- and even have his very own ice ring in the Bundt pan in the freezer.

That was a big hit, let me tell ya --want to intrigue a bunch of 5-year-olds? Float an ice ring, preferably one made from juice that's a different color than your punch, in a gigantic bowl of punch. (Hint: Plastic punch bowl from party store preferable.)

What? Punch-phobic? Pfft. Obviously you didn't grow up Methodist. Punch rules! Can't believe I haven't used my punch bowl since Duckyboy's first birthday party in '03 -- now I don't want to put it away. Again thank you, Internet, for the ideas for this punch:

• 1 container orange juice (No Pulp! "X Pulp! We don't drink no stinkin' pulp," say my son and his sensory-issue-challenged friends. OK, so they don't use those words. Though he might say the "X pulp" part.) If it makes you feel any better, buy the calcium-added version. I felt a tad better about feeding it to my friends' kids that way.
  
• 1 2-liter container of lemon-lime soda. The more store-brand, the better.
• 1 ring of ice --water mixed with purple grape juice makes the orange pulp turn brown as it melts. (Which is good for Groundhog Day, even though I found that out by accident.)

Purple grape juice, you ask? Who buys that stain-producing stuff anymore, don't we all use the white nowadays? Well, yes. Except that Communion hasn't made the switch yet, for that the purple stuff still rules. And since I just stopped doing the setup (long story there), I had half a bottle in my fridge. Which I don't let Duckyboy drink due to the stain factor. Except when he wants some from the little communion cup I saved for him.

Oh, and now in case someone's got something to say about that: My view is, at his age, I'd rather have him have a positive view of The Lord's Supper as something that is for him, as opposed to seeing it as something that he's not allowed to have, which is NOT, trust me, going to have a wistful, dreamy-eyed, "Gee, I hope I can have that someday" effect that it might on someone else's kid. I also let him eat the leftover matzoh. Well, not ALL of it since he'd never have a bm again. Whatever else is left we save to feed to the ducks in Kissena Park. Did you know that ducks like matzoh?

Well, I've written a paragraph that includes both my faith and ducks; I think my work here is done.