Queens-bound traffic jam
more like a traffic noodle,
one long thin line
on the shelf of the outbound bridge.
The only thing moving is the litter
tumbling blithely in the hot breeze.
Move forward in jerky spurts
then stare at the pairs of red eyes
that glare back from the cars ahead,
resigned to our common fate in the chute.
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
How to Care for Your Bossy
Having had the delightful chance to be part of the first stop on Bossy's (No) Book Tour 2010, and being the helpful type who does things like take pictures with Bossy's camera of the cameraman taking pictures of Bossy, and make the cameraman feel welcome by chatting amiably with him -- we talked about his wife! honestly! ok, and his brilliant movie idea! -- I thought I would compose a few hints for those of you who are anxiously, I mean eagerly, awaiting Bossy's arrival in your town.
Here are a few items you should be sure to think of ahead of time, by which I mean at least a few minutes before Bossy arrives, to help make your Bossy comfortable in her new surroundings:
1. Do you have your Bossy's drink of choice?
Bossy likes cocktails. Does the place where you are meeting Bossy have good cocktails? Bonus points for cool cocktail glasses.
Remember, too, that your Bossy is driving, so make sure she can safely get to her bed for the night. (Though I hear she is planning to test out the comfortability of the backseat of her Ford Fusion, I don't think "I slept in the car because I was too drunk to drive" is what Ford had in mind when they gave Bossy the car for her tour.)
2. Do you have toys for your Bossy?
By toys I mean, of course, persons with a Y chromosome.
There is a wide range of acceptable male attendees. Charming, handsome and at-or-close-to legal age seem to be preferable qualities. Use your own good judgment based on who you'd want to greet you at an event in a strange city.
(You don't really have to worry to much about this one, as my few encounters with Bossy have indicated she has an unusual ability to attract this type of amusement on her own. I hope she'll post her secrets some day.)
3. Don't forget to feed your Bossy!
This should be obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget things. Especially if you are in a back room with no waitress service. So do what you must to flag down that inattentive bartender and get some food!
4. Make sure you take pictures of your Bossy.
You have a beautiful Bossy in your midst; don't forget your camera, or charge your phone, or whatever you need to do.
You might want to grab a friend and practice the arms-length-photo-of-yourself-and-Bossy beforehand. Or, you can forget to do that and end up with pictures of everyone else and just hope you show up in someone else's photos as proof you were there. (Whew, I made it into one.)
Bossy Bonii:
(the word "bonuses" just isn't unique and special enough for Bossy)
5. Can you meet somewhere that will enable Bossy to see some Local Sights as well as enjoy everyone's company? Bossy has scheduled herself solid with driving, sleeping, and eating at Burger King, and as anyone who's driven on the US highways knows, that's no way to see the country. (If not, see #2 above.)
6. This is going to expose me as the 100% dweeb that I am, but I gotta be me, so here goes: If you're at all inclined this way, toss some pens into your bag or pocket. Specifically, your Bossy needs a coupla Sharpies (for nametags) and a coupla regular, blue or black ink pens (for photo/video disclaimers and signing Bossy's guestbook). You may even get them back!
Edited to add:
You may wish to schedule a recovery day for yourself following your Bossy Visit. I mean, Bossy was here Tuesday and no way could I sit at my computer long enough yesterday to write this.
Edited again to add the link to my Flickr photos.
Here are a few items you should be sure to think of ahead of time, by which I mean at least a few minutes before Bossy arrives, to help make your Bossy comfortable in her new surroundings:
1. Do you have your Bossy's drink of choice?
Bossy likes cocktails. Does the place where you are meeting Bossy have good cocktails? Bonus points for cool cocktail glasses.
Remember, too, that your Bossy is driving, so make sure she can safely get to her bed for the night. (Though I hear she is planning to test out the comfortability of the backseat of her Ford Fusion, I don't think "I slept in the car because I was too drunk to drive" is what Ford had in mind when they gave Bossy the car for her tour.)
2. Do you have toys for your Bossy?
By toys I mean, of course, persons with a Y chromosome.
There is a wide range of acceptable male attendees. Charming, handsome and at-or-close-to legal age seem to be preferable qualities. Use your own good judgment based on who you'd want to greet you at an event in a strange city.
(You don't really have to worry to much about this one, as my few encounters with Bossy have indicated she has an unusual ability to attract this type of amusement on her own. I hope she'll post her secrets some day.)
3. Don't forget to feed your Bossy!
This should be obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget things. Especially if you are in a back room with no waitress service. So do what you must to flag down that inattentive bartender and get some food!
4. Make sure you take pictures of your Bossy.
You have a beautiful Bossy in your midst; don't forget your camera, or charge your phone, or whatever you need to do.
You might want to grab a friend and practice the arms-length-photo-of-yourself-and-Bossy beforehand. Or, you can forget to do that and end up with pictures of everyone else and just hope you show up in someone else's photos as proof you were there. (Whew, I made it into one.)
Bossy Bonii:
(the word "bonuses" just isn't unique and special enough for Bossy)
5. Can you meet somewhere that will enable Bossy to see some Local Sights as well as enjoy everyone's company? Bossy has scheduled herself solid with driving, sleeping, and eating at Burger King, and as anyone who's driven on the US highways knows, that's no way to see the country. (If not, see #2 above.)
6. This is going to expose me as the 100% dweeb that I am, but I gotta be me, so here goes: If you're at all inclined this way, toss some pens into your bag or pocket. Specifically, your Bossy needs a coupla Sharpies (for nametags) and a coupla regular, blue or black ink pens (for photo/video disclaimers and signing Bossy's guestbook). You may even get them back!
Edited to add:
You may wish to schedule a recovery day for yourself following your Bossy Visit. I mean, Bossy was here Tuesday and no way could I sit at my computer long enough yesterday to write this.
Edited again to add the link to my Flickr photos.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Girls in Their Underwear Taking Over the World
My 6-year-old has a bit of a fixation with girls' underwear. Is this a normal phase? (It's not one they put in the parenting books!)
This afternoon we played with our Cars movie cars, and one of the characters was at first capturing everyone else, and then suddenly he began to put purple girls' underwear on all his prisoners (this part is all imaginary, mind you -- the prison was made from Magnetix), and then it became an underwear store for the rest of the cars, with the prisoners now being models for all the different styles. One car ordered underwear with decals of underwear on it! Yikes.
That was probably my fault. I know he thinks underwear is funny, so yesterday I pointed out a drawing in a book we were reading, a little girl holding her dress up above her waist so you can see her panties.
Did I think that out first? Uh, no. Another brilliant parenting moment by moi.
"Why is she doing that?" DB asked after he stopped laughing. Well, the drawing shows break time at preschool, and the 2 kids to one side of this character have obviously just used the bathroom (one is getting his overalls snapped and a second is drying her hands on a towel). So I think that girl is next in the bathroom and she's getting ready.
And, preschoolers do that -- they don't know not to yet; in fact we had 2 of them in the front row of the winter concert hike their skirts -- so I think the artist was just being realistic. It's subtle, she's in the back of the picture (the main focus is on the 8 or so characters in the foreground having their snack).
But he really liked it ... to the point where tonight at bedtime he asked me, "Can you show me the picture of the girl in her underwear again?"
We looked at it again, and then he asked me, "Mommy, can you give me something to think about so I don't think about girls in their underwear, taking over the world? Because when I'm bored I think about that."
I made a suggestion based on the scenes we watched tonight from the Cars movie. But what on earth am I supposed to do with that knowledge about what's going on inside my son's head???
I did reassure him that girls and boys go back and forth liking and not liking each other and also noted that I didn't expect him to be thinking about that type of thing until oh, 7th or 8th grade.
This afternoon we played with our Cars movie cars, and one of the characters was at first capturing everyone else, and then suddenly he began to put purple girls' underwear on all his prisoners (this part is all imaginary, mind you -- the prison was made from Magnetix), and then it became an underwear store for the rest of the cars, with the prisoners now being models for all the different styles. One car ordered underwear with decals of underwear on it! Yikes.
That was probably my fault. I know he thinks underwear is funny, so yesterday I pointed out a drawing in a book we were reading, a little girl holding her dress up above her waist so you can see her panties.
Did I think that out first? Uh, no. Another brilliant parenting moment by moi.
"Why is she doing that?" DB asked after he stopped laughing. Well, the drawing shows break time at preschool, and the 2 kids to one side of this character have obviously just used the bathroom (one is getting his overalls snapped and a second is drying her hands on a towel). So I think that girl is next in the bathroom and she's getting ready.
And, preschoolers do that -- they don't know not to yet; in fact we had 2 of them in the front row of the winter concert hike their skirts -- so I think the artist was just being realistic. It's subtle, she's in the back of the picture (the main focus is on the 8 or so characters in the foreground having their snack).
But he really liked it ... to the point where tonight at bedtime he asked me, "Can you show me the picture of the girl in her underwear again?"
We looked at it again, and then he asked me, "Mommy, can you give me something to think about so I don't think about girls in their underwear, taking over the world? Because when I'm bored I think about that."
I made a suggestion based on the scenes we watched tonight from the Cars movie. But what on earth am I supposed to do with that knowledge about what's going on inside my son's head???
I did reassure him that girls and boys go back and forth liking and not liking each other and also noted that I didn't expect him to be thinking about that type of thing until oh, 7th or 8th grade.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Blessed by Bumming Rides
As you'd probably guess from this post title, our car is in the shop.
But yesterday is the day I drive DB to school and spend the day there helping in the library. I could have put him on the school bus, but I still needed to find a way there. (Anyway, the bus would get him there almost an hour early since on Fridays his school has a later start time, but the buses don't adjust for that.) I knew I could call a car service, but wanted to minimize that expensive if possible, on the parts of the trip when I knew other people would be driving our way.
Blessing 1
So, I called my friend M, who graciously agreed to pick us up. She was practically apologetic about having to go early (since she has to get to work) -- but I was overjoyed to have a ride with a friend. It was good to see what happens when the kids arrive early, in case I ever do need to send DB on the bus on Friday.
We had a nice chat on the way, and since DB loves her minivan best among all the vehicles in the universe, he enjoyed it as well. He and M's daughter even chatted in the backseat-- which is a big deal for both of them.
Blessing 2
Thursday night as I set up the ride, I also spoke to my friend J. We spent a few minutes catching up in a way we never can at pickup time. (At least, not until it gets warmer and the kids can play at the playground.)
Blessing 3
Once we were at school, I figured I'd wing it about getting to gymnastics. Two other families go from school to the gym Friday afternoons, and I know D can squeeze extras into her minivan. Except ... yesterday, she wasn't going since she had 2 kids at home and only 1 came to school. But guess what, she offered to give us a ride anyway. (It's sorta-kinda on the way to their house, so I didn't feel too bad accepting.)
We had the nicest chat in the car! She even planted a seed about a career change idea for me, hmm. And DB got to practice sharing -- I'd bought some Twizzlers as an afterschool snack.
Blessing 4
At gymnastics, I figured I'd simply call a car service to get home. I'd already called Thursday to get the price, $18, not too bad. But somehow during the conversation I mentioned the car troubles to my friend E, and she insisted on driving us home! Which is waaay out of her way. And we had a nice chat too, and more socialization practice for DB.
DB got to ride in 3 minivans, and I got to have some time with 3 wonderful ladies. (4 when you count my phone chat Thursday night.) Who'da thunk it?
But yesterday is the day I drive DB to school and spend the day there helping in the library. I could have put him on the school bus, but I still needed to find a way there. (Anyway, the bus would get him there almost an hour early since on Fridays his school has a later start time, but the buses don't adjust for that.) I knew I could call a car service, but wanted to minimize that expensive if possible, on the parts of the trip when I knew other people would be driving our way.
Blessing 1
So, I called my friend M, who graciously agreed to pick us up. She was practically apologetic about having to go early (since she has to get to work) -- but I was overjoyed to have a ride with a friend. It was good to see what happens when the kids arrive early, in case I ever do need to send DB on the bus on Friday.
We had a nice chat on the way, and since DB loves her minivan best among all the vehicles in the universe, he enjoyed it as well. He and M's daughter even chatted in the backseat-- which is a big deal for both of them.
Blessing 2
Thursday night as I set up the ride, I also spoke to my friend J. We spent a few minutes catching up in a way we never can at pickup time. (At least, not until it gets warmer and the kids can play at the playground.)
Blessing 3
Once we were at school, I figured I'd wing it about getting to gymnastics. Two other families go from school to the gym Friday afternoons, and I know D can squeeze extras into her minivan. Except ... yesterday, she wasn't going since she had 2 kids at home and only 1 came to school. But guess what, she offered to give us a ride anyway. (It's sorta-kinda on the way to their house, so I didn't feel too bad accepting.)
We had the nicest chat in the car! She even planted a seed about a career change idea for me, hmm. And DB got to practice sharing -- I'd bought some Twizzlers as an afterschool snack.
Blessing 4
At gymnastics, I figured I'd simply call a car service to get home. I'd already called Thursday to get the price, $18, not too bad. But somehow during the conversation I mentioned the car troubles to my friend E, and she insisted on driving us home! Which is waaay out of her way. And we had a nice chat too, and more socialization practice for DB.
DB got to ride in 3 minivans, and I got to have some time with 3 wonderful ladies. (4 when you count my phone chat Thursday night.) Who'da thunk it?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Am I Having Fun Yet?
I don't usually do this, but I just registered at fuelupthefun.com to see if I win a Toyota Prius. I bought a couple of Freschetta pizzas yesterday at the store, and the box advertises this instant-win game.
So, I took the bait.
And let me tell you, this is the cheesiest site I've ever been to. (Oh, maybe that explains it... pizza, cheesy, I get it...)
Anyone know why so many sites require me to "join" all these sites just to play a flippin' game? I long for the days of a little instant-win card IN the box. I usually opt out at that point of "Register here," but this time I wanted to see it through.
So now I am officially registered, even though after May this password will be entirely useless and just taking up valuable space in my passwords book, AND it makes me enter a security code AND age AND state AND input my UPC code (the entry) before I even know what's going on or how it works.
On the next screen, I have to fill in the rest of my address details AND opt out of being Among The First To Receive Special Offers!! etc. etc. from this company which I am liking less and less by the second.
Then, the box refreshes and informs me I have not won. And I should be sure to come back and play again tomorrow.
Wait! I bought 2 pizzas, I have 2 boxes hogging valuable space next to my computer right now, I want to enter both codes and be done with this nonsense!
Tomorrow my eye. I guess I want that car, because I cut out the UPC code from the other box. Even though I don't really need a UPC code at all, because it's a "No purchase necessary" game which means that anyone who goes to the trouble of registering, they'll give you a code right there online.
None of you better win my car!!
So, I took the bait.
And let me tell you, this is the cheesiest site I've ever been to. (Oh, maybe that explains it... pizza, cheesy, I get it...)
Anyone know why so many sites require me to "join" all these sites just to play a flippin' game? I long for the days of a little instant-win card IN the box. I usually opt out at that point of "Register here," but this time I wanted to see it through.
So now I am officially registered, even though after May this password will be entirely useless and just taking up valuable space in my passwords book, AND it makes me enter a security code AND age AND state AND input my UPC code (the entry) before I even know what's going on or how it works.On the next screen, I have to fill in the rest of my address details AND opt out of being Among The First To Receive Special Offers!! etc. etc. from this company which I am liking less and less by the second.
Then, the box refreshes and informs me I have not won. And I should be sure to come back and play again tomorrow.
Wait! I bought 2 pizzas, I have 2 boxes hogging valuable space next to my computer right now, I want to enter both codes and be done with this nonsense!
Tomorrow my eye. I guess I want that car, because I cut out the UPC code from the other box. Even though I don't really need a UPC code at all, because it's a "No purchase necessary" game which means that anyone who goes to the trouble of registering, they'll give you a code right there online.
None of you better win my car!!
