Haiku Friday: Harrumph

Apparently DuckyBoy is doing great at summer camp. He's (fairly) upbeat about getting on the bus, where his friend is riding for the summer who usually goes by car during the school year. Not that I dare call him a "friend" because then DB will be sure to rebuke me: "He's not my BEST friend!"

Anyway. No one bothered to tell us moms that the kids are arriving half an hour late ... meaning DB and his friend are on the bus for just about an hour and a half each morning!! And they miss the "social activities worksheets" the kids do over breakfast. Of all the things to miss!!

But his teacher says he's been great so far. Which is good, because as soon as he sees me he turns into Drama King, unless he's in the pool or I am doing exactly what he wants me to do.

Which I am Not.Doing.Any.More.

Can you tell I am a bit p.o.'d at DB tonight?? We went to the (half an hour from nowhere near anywhere we ever go otherwise) dentist today and he screamed, fought, cried, and screamed some more when they tried to clean, just clean, his teeth. I'm spitting mad at him and he knows it. There was no mask, no laughing gas, and he's had a cleaning at least twice. But no. Apparently his new schtick for the dentist office is to freak out. He'd better not repeat that shtick on Monday when we go back for the cleaning! The dentist did get him to let her count his teeth, and she promised that's all she'd do and kept her word.

Did I mention they're a half an hour from nowhere??

Don't worry, he's been reassured that he is loved, and always will be, but he had no TV and fell asleep on the couch during our Bible study tonight. "I'm having trouble enjoying this relaxation time without tv," he moaned at one point. I told him his choices were to try, or go to sleep.

Can we tell a story? Um, no. I was honest with him -- I'm too mad at you, I said. Can I help you find a Lego part? Um, no. (I did help him download a pattern.)

I don't care that it's been like, 1,000 degrees here in NYC the last few days. I don't care that he's probably worried about 3rd grade and certainly reacting to the end of 2nd grade.

He's got to reason to be the way he's been toward me. The things he says range from mean to demanding to rude. I'm totally sick of it.

So mad at my son
and yet I love him so much --
my heart breaks in two.

Sigh. That's the best I can do today. I look forward to reading everyone else's haiku to pull me out of this funk! (And guess what? NO school-camp on Fridays, so we're stuck with each other all day! As of tonight my plan is: I'm going to get a bikini wax, a pedicure, and grocery shop. I also may need to criss cross Queens looking for 16-oz iced-coffee cups with lids. (Who knew they'd be so elusive?) Any other ideas, besides driving past every playground with a cackle?? Humph.

Please, do better than me! Link to your haiku post below, and leave a comment, too, unless you'd rather kick and scream for me...

Do I Really Want to Friend my Electric Company?

This the back of the envelope my electric bill came in.

I am enjoying getting more active on Facebook, and I've become a fan on several companies I like -- Oreos, Shining Stars stuffed animals -- but my electric company?

Talk about just jumping on the bandwagon.

The tips on the ConEd fan page actually aren't bad, but I just can't bring myself to become a FAN of my UTILITY COMPANY who has the government's permission, nay, blessing, to OVERCHARGE me.

It's probably going to become some scary Big Brother thing where if you DON'T become a fan you'll get cut off... AAAAAAGH!


Ahem. Excuse me!
Don't know what got into me there.


Isn't it a little weird, though? Next thing you know the cable company will want me to friend them. Sorry, I already got free HBO 'cause I've got real friends in my building (meaning the co-op board, who hooked us all up legally).

Haiku for Manhattan

My friend called me out,
said haiku's s'posed to evoke
a feeling or scene ...

she is right of course,
in the traditional sense ...
a cocktail haiku?!?

The feelings I stir
tend to be quotidian
more than expansive ...

In my own defense,
I point to Club Penguin ... where
Sensei-bird speaks 'ku!

Ahem, let me try a "real" haiku...

Manhattan pulses
a million different drummers
contribute a beat ...

the air is alive
with movement, thoughts, change, and life ...
dull senses quicken.

Tires revolve and fade,
voices run sharp, soft, pleading,
underground trains hiss ...

My boy wants to stay
he can feel the energy,
it mirrors his mind ...

Eyes, heart, neurons drawn
to the new, spicy, unknown
that keeps us alive ...

Want to play along on Haiku Friday? You know what to do: Write haiku, any theme. Put the post url into Mister Linky here, then please leave a comment after linking.

And be sure to have a great weekend!

Weight Loss Update

On Friday I posted about Husband and I are trying to lose weight by making different food choices, in a way that's sustainable to eat going forward.

We have done Weight Watchers and Atkins and even The Zone in the past, all with some success, but the problem has been that, like so many others, the weight bounces right back. So this time, after conversations with Gregory Anne Cox and getting her free 7-day ecourse, I'm trying to do it right and change the way we eat in a sustainable way. Finding out that she loves food and doesn’t believe in depriving ourselves to lose weight really helped.
I'm learning to turn off that judgmental voice in my head that says, "Good food, bad food" and allow myself to use my intelligence to make a good choice.

Husband and I are really enjoying what we eat and, surprising to us, not missing what we’re not eating, which is lots and lots of carbs. We’ve done Atkins in the past so we knew we could live without the carbs, but this is different because we’re not trying to follow some strict regime for a period of time (or amount of weight ) -- we’re just choosing different foods for the plate. And choosing what sounds good, rather than whatever will get us through to the “next pound down.”

A few M-and-Ms don't hurt me. A piece of spinach pie, yes even with the flaky crust, won't blow it (like it would on Atkins). But you know what? I don't feel as good this morning after eating that flaky crust. Next time I may just go with the Greek salad.

If you told me I'd go to a late-night diner with my friends and NOT get a cheeseburger, or anything with fries, I'd have laughed. But I truly enjoyed the choice I made, knowing that the burger-and-fries would make me feel not-good today.

This morning I’m down a total of 7 pounds, and Husband is down 10. And the main thing we’re doing is picking different foods … it's nothing short of a miracle.

I do notice we need more sleep, though. No joke. Gregory Anne mentions sleep in her email course, and I thought, "yeah, yeah, we all need more sleep." But this is like, "I MUST GO BACK TO BED," my body is Not.Taking.No.For.An.Answer type of need for more sleep. If I don't get 8 hours I can't function. 8 and a half is better.

Seems worth the trade-off: Body feels better when I'm up; clothes fit better; little more energy (I'm still out of shape but I'm willing to run with DuckyBoy now, every time he asks, at least until I'm out of breath); in exchange I need to sleep more? Ok.

Haiku Friday, Now With Gratuitous Cute Baby Photo!

Busy busy week
s'posed to be a week off? Ha!
didn't quite happen.

I was going to use this past week to catch up on a lot of things. Somehow, it ended up being mainly more of the same, though I did make time for some rejuvenating activities. Like meeting this little guy here. Is he a sweetie or what??

Anyway, the busy work is actually leading to some income for us, so that's a yay!

And Husband and I spent last Saturday learning lots of interesting stuff about WordPress (am I allowed to say that name on my Blogger blog?). My favorite idea I came away with is to start a blog for the books of the month, and for photos of our related library crafts.

I also want to figure out how to scan and make Powerpoint presentations out of the books of the month so the kindergarden kids can "watch" them be read on the Smartboard instead of squinting to see the pictures.

Would you like to haiku today? To participate in Haiku Friday, just follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. It or they can be part or all of your post, but your post must include a haiku. What's a haiku, you ask? Hint: 5-7-5. More info: Click here. Or here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Please leave a comment after linking, thanks! (Eventually the Mr Linky links go away, I think, so they only way we'll find you in the future is via your comment.)

4. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top of this post.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will carry on the esteemed tradition of deleting any links without haiku!

Haiku Friday: Spectrum Parents

Friday already?
Blame it on birthday party --
I forgot to post!!

A rare chance for friends
to relax, chat openly
about spectrum kids.

Love to do again,
maybe a monthly playdate
for Nesters and friends?

We all understand
that our kids do their own thing,
then circle back in.

Would you like to haiku today? To participate in Haiku Friday, just follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. It or they can be part or all of your post, but your post must include a haiku. What's a haiku, you ask? Hint: 5-7-5. More info: Click here. Or here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Please leave a comment after linking, thanks! (Eventually the Mr Linky links go away, I think, so they only way we'll find you in the future is via your comment.)

4. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top of this post.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will carry on the esteemed tradition of deleting any links without haiku!

The Beach Spectrum

We went to the beach Monday with some friends; check out the bizarrely funny video of DB "sand swimming."

It was great to go with other people -- 2 other adults plus 3 kids. Not only was I able to enjoy going in the ocean -- did it ever feel good on a 90+ day! -- while DB stayed at the blanket with someone, but also I was able to go in the water with a little kid and watch her enjoy the waves.

My friend's youngest daughter, who's I think 4, was a little unsure about the water's edge. I asked her if she'd take my hand and just put our toes in. She readily agreed, so in we went. After standing together for a minute I sat down, still holding her hand, and soon she made up a game of sitting down when each wave came in and then standing back up. She was giggling and laughing and thoroughly enjoying herself in a way DB rarely does. (He wouldn't go in the water at all Monday.)

It made me feel good about myself that I had a good idea, to hold hands at the edge, and was able to help her feel secure enough to enjoy the experience (she was soaked by the end!). Because sometimes, a lot of sometimes, I wonder what I'm doing wrong with DB.

It was good to reminded that it's more him than me.

Interpreting the World

Christina's post about her husband telling her how much younger she looked on a weekend away from the kids remind me of the way Husband says I am a different person the minute we get in the car after dropping DuckyBoy off at Grandma's for a night.

It's true. Though a weekly night out is restorative, it's not as deep as when I know I have more than a couple of hours off. When I not only don't have to deal with bedtime, but also no morning hassles either, I can relax and have a drink or two without feeling like I'm going to kick myself at 7 am the next day for feeling less than 100 percent. (Becuase it's usually like less than 60 percent. I'm almost never at 100 percent in the morning anyway.) And also that I'll be free to sleep until 9 or 10 and then kick myself at my leisure, without having to do so while driving 37 Matchbox cars through their car wash in a prescribed order.

Probably all moms feel like that, but I wonder if it may have something to do with having a child on the autism spectrum as well: As I commented on Christina's post, I realized that I spend much of my energy helping interpret the world to my son, and more interpreting him to the world.

Granted, I do less of the second part now that he's getting older. I'm simply not with him to be able to do so, which sometimes I'm sure is good and other times is a bit frustrating, and I wonder if I'm making much ado about nothing.

But just last week in the school cafeteria, a boy in another first-grade class who is friends with one of DB's classmates said to DB, "You know me..." and DB said simply, "No, I don't," and got up to walk away.

I was so caught off-guard I didn't have the presence of mind to make DB come back and practice saying something more socially acceptable. (Anyway, what does one teach a 6-year-old to say in this situation ???)

And frankly, I knew it was going to be fruitless for any of us to argue with him or try to convince him he does know this other guy, and I don't know if he does or not, so I let him go -- and explained to the boy that often, DB does not recognize people when they are in a different situation than the one in which he knows them. He gave me kind of a blank look, so I'm not sure if that made sense to him, but I hoped he understood I was trying to explain instead of make an excuse.

Now that I'm writing this up I'm not so sure. And I think I can feel another hair turning gray...

Blessed by Bumming Rides

As you'd probably guess from this post title, our car is in the shop.

But yesterday is the day I drive DB to school and spend the day there helping in the library. I could have put him on the school bus, but I still needed to find a way there. (Anyway, the bus would get him there almost an hour early since on Fridays his school has a later start time, but the buses don't adjust for that.) I knew I could call a car service, but wanted to minimize that expensive if possible, on the parts of the trip when I knew other people would be driving our way.

Blessing 1
So, I called my friend M, who graciously agreed to pick us up. She was practically apologetic about having to go early (since she has to get to work) -- but I was overjoyed to have a ride with a friend. It was good to see what happens when the kids arrive early, in case I ever do need to send DB on the bus on Friday.

We had a nice chat on the way, and since DB loves her minivan best among all the vehicles in the universe, he enjoyed it as well. He and M's daughter even chatted in the backseat-- which is a big deal for both of them.

Blessing 2
Thursday night as I set up the ride, I also spoke to my friend J. We spent a few minutes catching up in a way we never can at pickup time. (At least, not until it gets warmer and the kids can play at the playground.)

Blessing 3
Once we were at school, I figured I'd wing it about getting to gymnastics. Two other families go from school to the gym Friday afternoons, and I know D can squeeze extras into her minivan. Except ... yesterday, she wasn't going since she had 2 kids at home and only 1 came to school. But guess what, she offered to give us a ride anyway. (It's sorta-kinda on the way to their house, so I didn't feel too bad accepting.)

We had the nicest chat in the car! She even planted a seed about a career change idea for me, hmm. And DB got to practice sharing -- I'd bought some Twizzlers as an afterschool snack.

Blessing 4
At gymnastics, I figured I'd simply call a car service to get home. I'd already called Thursday to get the price, $18, not too bad. But somehow during the conversation I mentioned the car troubles to my friend E, and she insisted on driving us home! Which is waaay out of her way. And we had a nice chat too, and more socialization practice for DB.

DB got to ride in 3 minivans, and I got to have some time with 3 wonderful ladies. (4 when you count my phone chat Thursday night.) Who'da thunk it?

Friday Night Haiku

Girls night out tonight
A Tex-Med birthday dinner
Almost time to go!

Nuggets in oven
Dad and son have been prepared
All's left is a kiss

Friends with Blogs Updates

My friend Alba has a new blog (for AOL, no less!) called Bright and Spacious, about real estate and home ownership, and generally making the most of the space you're in or moving into or moving out of. Cool. I like the poetry blog but this one's more roomy, ha ha.

Meanwhile I have been neglecting Sara's funny blog of "what were they thinking?" real-estate photos, It's Lovely! I'll Take It! and I see that her banner is a photo of an ad for her blog on city benches, no less! I haven't asked her whether somebody's really good with PhotoShop or if she really did the ads. But how impressive it looks anyway! [Edited to add: Sara says it's a trompe l'oeil. Which these days is a trompe l'software.]

Another friend who is the northern half of mystery writer Evelyn David is recovering from a stomach bug and, I see, also from an addiction to computer solitaire. If I know her, she'll find a way to turn even THAT into a book proposal! (Or a character trait for a character in a future book...) Unlike me who just wastes her time at it. And almost got fired once because of it...

Meanwhile Meredith is busy Twittering instead of finishing a manuscript and also just got back from a silent retreat. (If you Twitter on a silent retreat, is it really silent? N.B.-Meredith did NOT tweet during her retreat.)

I'd love to go on a retreat, silent or not, but can't seem to find anything online suggesting a place I could go!! All advice welcome!

Sneadwoman appears to be impossible to find anywhere other than Wed MD's Autism Support Group. So! Updated her link shall be.