How About a Haiku Weekend?

It's not that I forgot about ...

... it's more that the haiku I wrote sounded the same as all my others -- in fact I managed to blend seasonal and maudlin haiku and I just didn't want to post another sorry-sounding poem! Here's Kari's fun haiku for the week (there's even a contest attached).

And, since I wrote it already anyway (in bed Thursday night), here's mine:

The drops of rain are
bullets to a daffodil,
lullaby for me.

I'll try again next week!!!

How to Care for Your Bossy

Having had the delightful chance to be part of the first stop on Bossy's (No) Book Tour 2010, and being the helpful type who does things like take pictures with Bossy's camera of the cameraman taking pictures of Bossy, and make the cameraman feel welcome by chatting amiably with him -- we talked about his wife! honestly! ok, and his brilliant movie idea! -- I thought I would compose a few hints for those of you who are anxiously, I mean eagerly, awaiting Bossy's arrival in your town.

Here are a few items you should be sure to think of ahead of time, by which I mean at least a few minutes before Bossy arrives, to help make your Bossy comfortable in her new surroundings:

1. Do you have your Bossy's drink of choice?
Bossy likes cocktails. Does the place where you are meeting Bossy have good cocktails? Bonus points for cool cocktail glasses.

Remember, too, that your Bossy is driving, so make sure she can safely get to her bed for the night. (Though I hear she is planning to test out the comfortability of the backseat of her Ford Fusion, I don't think "I slept in the car because I was too drunk to drive" is what Ford had in mind when they gave Bossy the car for her tour.)

2. Do you have toys for your Bossy?
By toys I mean, of course, persons with a Y chromosome.

There is a wide range of acceptable male attendees. Charming, handsome and at-or-close-to legal age seem to be preferable qualities. Use your own good judgment based on who you'd want to greet you at an event in a strange city.

(You don't really have to worry to much about this one, as my few encounters with Bossy have indicated she has an unusual ability to attract this type of amusement on her own. I hope she'll post her secrets some day.)

3. Don't forget to feed your Bossy!
This should be obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget things. Especially if you are in a back room with no waitress service. So do what you must to flag down that inattentive bartender and get some food!

4. Make sure you take pictures of your Bossy.
You have a beautiful Bossy in your midst; don't forget your camera, or charge your phone, or whatever you need to do.

You might want to grab a friend and practice the arms-length-photo-of-yourself-and-Bossy beforehand. Or, you can forget to do that and end up with pictures of everyone else and just hope you show up in someone else's photos as proof you were there. (Whew, I made it into one.)

Bossy Bonii:
(the word "bonuses" just isn't unique and special enough for Bossy)

5. Can you meet somewhere that will enable Bossy to see some Local Sights as well as enjoy everyone's company? Bossy has scheduled herself solid with driving, sleeping, and eating at Burger King, and as anyone who's driven on the US highways knows, that's no way to see the country. (If not, see #2 above.)

6. This is going to expose me as the 100% dweeb that I am, but I gotta be me, so here goes: If you're at all inclined this way, toss some pens into your bag or pocket. Specifically, your Bossy needs a coupla Sharpies (for nametags) and a coupla regular, blue or black ink pens (for photo/video disclaimers and signing Bossy's guestbook). You may even get them back!

Edited to add:
You may wish to schedule a recovery day for yourself following your Bossy Visit. I mean, Bossy was here Tuesday and no way could I sit at my computer long enough yesterday to write this.

Edited again to add the link to my Flickr photos.

Slip-On Sneakers: The After Photo

This photo is for Cathy, so we have the before-and-after of these sneakers.



DuckyBoy doesn't know how to tie shoes either, but it's not just a spectrum issue. My friend whose 9-year-old son is totally typical (well, by New York city kid standards anyway, haha) said he asked her to tie his new basketball shoes ... and until he asked her, she hadn't realized that he hadn't learned yet! It's just so easy to buy the slip-on and Velcro shoes now.

DB got into the habit of walking on the heels of these shoes, and also we had to switch from slip-ons back to Velco-closures for school, because he'd also fiddle with his shoes while siting at his desk. Darn near drove his kindergarten teacher crazy! So these were his summer '08 shoes, I think. When I saw Cathy's post about Ethan's new shoes back in November I dug these out ... and this is how long it took me to upload it!

Haiku Friday: Who Am I Again?

Women on the web,
words on a screen to connect
the flow of our thoughts.

A big issue is
the time when the kids are gone...
what to do with it?

Not quite empty nest,
it's more like empty hours.
Who will I become?

Brain filled with "to-do's,"
I've forgotten who I was
before motherhood.

Would you like to haiku today? To participate in Haiku Friday, just follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. It or they can be part or all of your post, but your post must include a haiku. What's a haiku, you ask? Hint: 5-7-5. More info: Click here. Or here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Please leave a comment after linking, thanks! (Eventually the Mr Linky links go away, I think, so they only way we'll find you in the future is via your comment.)

4. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top of this post.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will carry on the esteemed tradition of deleting any links without haiku.

BlogHer 09, The Overview

I took the official post-BlogHer '09 survey yesterday, so I guess it's time to stop fooling around and post my thoughts.

Honestly, they're so many and varied, I'm afraid I'll bore and/or overwhelm myself by posting them. And I haven't yet had a brilliant idea for breaking them up.

And that's no fun!

I had an epiphany while doing the survey, though. I had to choose how I felt about the conference overall, and realized that overall, my experience was more positive than negative. Until that moment, I honestly wasn't sure how I felt.

I'd expected more of a content focus, more how-to, especially in the ideas-for-how-to-monetize area. Perhaps I simply attended the wrong sessions. At one point I felt I had to pick either the Expo OR the afternoon sessions, and rereading the titles perhaps that was where I missed out. I really enjoyed the Expo, though!

There was something about BlogHer that I’m having trouble describing. It was a taste of another world, a glimpse of another life … a chance to just talk and connect with other women, a time to not be isolated.

I felt important to fellow bloggers and to the sponsors just for being who I am, in a way that being at home just doesn't give me.

I'm going to break up my specific impressions into different posts by day -- as much for me to remember as for anyone else to read it. But if you do read them, I hope you'll get a glimpse of how fun it was to be part of that community in person, however brief it was.

I may not go every year in the future, but next year's an easy yes since it's in NYC, yay!

Where the H*ll Did All This Shame Come From?

While Husband and I were having our regularly scheduled chat with a professional friend this week, I discovered that I feel very ashamed at not being able to figure out what I want to do with my life. It was amazing how much better it felt just to have someone --practically anyone! -- tell me that it's OK, normal, to need time to figure it out. What a concept!

And of course my father's voice pipes up then -- steps to the microphone at the Everybody Committee meeting, as it were -- and intones, "There is no figure it out, just do."

Yeah.

Which brings us to BlogHer '09, and the post I've been putting off for over a week. I've been having trouble articulating how I feel about BlogHer, because like many attendees --as the posts about the conference I've read so far indicate-- I have a mix of delight and disappointment, good and bad.

I had high hopes for coming away from it with a Plan. MY Plan. A way to move forward in a way that would be monetarily fulfilling and personally gratifying.

Holy Grail, anyone? OK, so I'm a dreamer. And just when I thought I didn't have any dreams!

But I didn't get anything that specific from the weekend. Lots of good contacts and ideas. But I feel even further away from Getting Anything Done (see Dad's voice, above) than before.

Which makes me feel like I have to run faster and succeed quicker and better.

Which just makes me tired and want to surf the web and watch TV.

Hence the lack of a BlogHer post or any pictures up yet.

That was very helpful, thank you for listening! Your check for this session will be in the mail!

What's the Plan Here?

Lately I find I have much more to talk about on my other blog about DuckyBoy's school issues, like his struggles to keep his desk clean.

Actually it may not be that I have so much more to say but it's easier to talk about him than the jumble in my head about everything else. I'm excited about a new client but ambivalent about the potential success of the business long-term and therefore the amount of time I put in each day toward the rest of the business.

What I really want is an 8-to-2 job in Queens that pays at least $60k. Oh, prferably 4 days so I cans till volunteer at DB's school library on Fridays. Is that so impossible? Aren't all things possible with God?

Ah, God. I just don't know where God wants me right now. feel like the phone is silent, except for messages that keep saying "Trust God, lean on God." I want to say, "To do what? To go where? What is the plan here?" I hear mixed messages from the people in my house, specifically, "Take care of us and nothing else" but "Take care of ME not him," and also, "We want you to be happy." Um, guys? That's not working so well.

I'm all over the place -- haven't yet posted here that I'm going to BlogHer in July, but since I've got conference tickets and a hotel room at this point, I guess I'm committed!

Between now and then I've got a website to help get written and running, and a half-day seminar to prepare for.

I did some figuring yesterday and scribbled numbers of hours on a calendar to make sure I get everything done in time.

Was that ever eye-opening!

Turns out I don't have to spend the amount of time I kept giving lip service to ("Oh, yes, dear, I can put in 12 hours on this!!") to get it done with plenty of revision and meeting time built in, but I do need to sit at this desk more often if I want to post, read blogs, keep up with my emails, AND work on this business. (And be done when DB gets home from school and still go to the library on Fridays.)

It's good to know. Better than the vague explanse of empty time that stretched out before.

Wish me luck!

Wednesday Morning Comin' Down

I should be working on my resume this morning but first I have to post this link to Susan's new blog, Prayers for The First Hundred Days. What a thoughtful idea! Feel free to spread the word.

Yet again, someone with a blog idea that's got more viral potential than mine. Ah well, I've got a year under my belt as part of the blogosphere, one step at a time!

In other news, 2 weeks after starting Special K diet, no loss whatsoever. In fact I may even be up a lb or two, although I weighed myself with my clothes on this morning so that may be those 2 lbs. I don't feel any larger so I'm probably just the same.

I didn't do the diet at all this weekend --too inconvenient for all 3 of us to need different food for 2 of 3 meals --and I'm drinking soy milk instead of skim, so a few more calories.

I also had trouble last week sticking to it, I was stressed about paying the bills and I had my period.

Just like my days at Weight Watchers -- I'm full of excuses, excuses! I do like the simplicity though so I'm going to try it for weekdays only. At least for another couple weeks until the 3 boxes of cereal I have invested in* are gone!

* At $4 a box I do consider cereal an investment!!

Brought to You by The Letter P

Here are 10 things I love that start with the letter P, having seen this on the very busy hokgardner's blog by way of Cathy's blog (aaaaaand, I just realized I was supposed to ask Cathy for the letter. I'll catch on to this stuff someday, I promise!)

Anyway. P?? I didn't expect P. At first I couldn't think of anything good for P, and then the words came, well, pouring out:

Places -- I love to go new places and see new things. I've always thought the best job for me would be one for which I'd have to go somewhere new every few weeks or so. If not sooner. The consistency would come from doing the same or similar thing at each place, and I'd meet new people and be somewhere new all the time.

Psalms -- This book of the Bible has brought me great comfort since childhood. Number 100, 150, even the good ol' 23rd. And many in between as well.

Pets -- This is bittersweet since I find losing pets to be the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. Ever. But that doesn't stop me from loving dogs and cats and wanting them.

Puns -- I can't help it, I've always made jokes with words. And now (much to Husband's chagrin) DuckyBoy is learning to appreciate and make word jokes as well.

Pennsylvania -- I'm proud to be from this nice, beautiful state. That's how I think of it, as nice. Upright. Honest. Family-oriented. As I get older there are times I'm sorry I left it for (sometimes nasty) New York.

Philadelphia -- I loved the college semester I spent in Philly. A good friend, a (later-to-be) boyfriend, and a lot of fascinating experiences came out of it. Smiths album. Chocolate croissants. Being late to the one press conference my boss requested specifically that I not be late to. Going to the tippy-top of City Hall. (Hi, William Penn! Remember me? Photo by Jeffrey M. Vinocur)

Taking the train to Germantown for our classes and Center City for my internship. My roommate's shrine to her boyfriend. Taking the bus to the end of the line. Taking the bus to the grocery store, to the little shopping plaza where I bought my pot and pan, and realizing I could only buy what I could carry. Being the one who noticed that the conductors on the commuter trains did not check tickets until after the train had gone from one end of Center City to the other.

Walking around on South Street. Seeing My Beautiful Laundrette (high point). Watching the Thanksgiving Day parade. Seeing Blue Velvet (low point). Causing a (minor) traffic accident as a pedestrian. Getting laughed at for my essay about my view of how my life would be in 10 years (real low point).

And, last but not least, the knowledge that as it fades, the scent of Obsession isn't nearly as nice as the perfume itself.

Paper -- I have always, always had a thing for nice paper. Wanted to be a card designer for a long time, in fact.

Puzzles -- In first grade I could read well enough that the teacher would ask me to read the directions for our worksheets to the class. At recess one day, one of the boys pinned me to the wall and demanded to know my secret. Frightened, I stammered out the only thing I could think of -- which is that each day I did the newspaper's "Little People Puzzle" -- it was like a crossword except it showed a picture of what word you needed instead of a hint. Now I like Sudoku. And jigsaws. And word puzzles. but the Sunday Times Crossword is just too hard to be fun. One time in high school I did a crossword with John Haglin in graphics class. (High point.)

Pennies -- My dad collected coins for a long, long time. I still check my change for anything interesting and have the urge to save any wheat pennies I find. But at this point I have so many, they just take up space. So I've been enjoying the find, then leaving them in circulation for the next collector.

Last but not least, DB suggested one that's perfect for #10:

PTA -- I'm enjoying being part of DB's school. While I'm not eager to take on a larger role just yet, and I'm sure Husband would prefer that I never do so, my favorite part of the meetings has been that a couple of us go out to a diner afterwards and dish while we munch for a few more hours.

Do I have to stop at 10? Husband just suggested a few more for me...

Paris-- Husband took me to Paris for my 30th birthday. The memories are much, much warmer than the temperature was that weekend. Our hotel overlooked the Louvre and the Seine, which on our budget was amazing. We ate at McDonalds (which was a low point and a high point at the same time), and we also had one of the best meals of our life at Auberge de Deux Cygnes, sitting next to an elderly couple and their equally elderly dog; I finally remembered just enough high-school French (after being stymied for 3 days) to order the oldest, sweetest bottle of dessert wine that was so expensive they triple-checked with us before opening it.

We went back with DB in spring 2003, when he was around 8 months old, on our way to my in-law's rental house in an outlying region I can't remember right now, and had a taxi driver take us to all the main sights for a photo. And on the way back home we stayed overnight in a hotel with a great bathtub for a baby to play in, and I've got a great photo.

Photographs -- I've put my husband's childhood photos in an album, I've put my brother's childhood photos in an album, I have some of our vacations and some of DB's life in albums, and I hope to do my own someday as well as organize the photos of my father's life before he dies.

Paycheck -- Yeahhhh, I'd like to be getting those around now. Not doing so well on the DIY motivation. Pretty sure Mama's gotta at least look for a job working for somebody else.

Pajamas -- I do like to hang around in pj's, especially the 2-piece menswear style. Still mad about the careless way the tailor mended the hole in that silk pair. If I'd wanted a scratchy iron-on patch that made them unwearable, I could've done that myself!! They ruined my favorite lounging-around clothes, and I had to pay for it. Humph! Note to my sister: If your husband ever gets another pair like that, feel free to shrink them and send them to me, OK? Or just send them preshrunk!

I'll end with one more P of my own:

Porch -- I cherish my memories of the screened-in porch in the front of the house I grew up in, the house my dad built. He built the fireplace on the porch the year I was born. Our Christmas tree was always on the porch. There was a large hunk of a log, about 8 or 10 inches in diameter, that was smoothed at one end and had a hunk of carpet tacked onto the other end, for a stool to sit on and watch the fire. I could watch the flames and the embers for hours.

I remember reading nursery rhymes. Getting ready to go to the beach. Running in to tell my dad about my first home run. Finally meeting my mom's cousin Janice, the first other person I ever knew of with my name. Being cold on Christmas morning, and sitting close to the fire in my long flannel nightie.

Watching Chippy, the chipmunk we kept in a cage, run on her wheel and hearing her scratch around in the closed-in top section as she came out of hibernation in the spring. Setting up a HotWheels track to zoom from the doorway into the living room. Getting slapped hard! on the leg by a girl from the trailer park down the road when I didn't play the way she wanted to. Handing out Halloween candy. Going out the door to trick-or-treat.

Threading those shoelace puzzles little kids do for hand-eye coordination on the wide wooden steps that connected the porch and the rest of the house. Years later, watching my brother's friend's little girl toddle up and down those same three stairs and repeat, after someone said it to her, "It's a doozy!"

Watching The Hardy Boys --Shaun Cassidy, what a dreamboat, sigh! -- with the TV specially turned (and tuned) so I could watch it on the porch. Playing solitaire. Finding my mom's Cosmo hidden under a chair cushion (my Barbie doll and I had some hot times after that).

Bringing in firewood. Building a fire myself. My grandparents meeting their first grandchild (my nephew). Grabbing my black vinyl, not-at-all-warm, "winter" coat that matched my friend's from the coat rack. My high-school graduation party. And, finally, people carrying out the things they bought at the auction of all the stuff we couldn't take with us when we moved.

Happy Belated Blogoversary to Me...

Pathetic. I missed my own blogoversary date. I knew it was sometime in February but didn't know quite when. Well, guess what, it was last Wednesday. Woo hoo.

It about sums up how I'm feeling right now--completely scattered.

At least now I can see that I felt like this last year at this time also--maybe this is why I've latched on to Groundhog Day as a way to make the holiday feeling last. And then, the cliff ends and I've gone over again.

What's this? I didn't even post about Groundhog Day this year. We had a fun party in DB's class on the Friday before the big day. He was sick on Monday the 2nd, so I didn't get to read to more library classes, but that was OK.

And I sold 2 copies of my Groundhog Day party ebook. Despite having my link misspelled in the ad I had in my side column here. (It was right on the 3 other blogs it appeared on, including the one I paid for.)

One to the librarian at DB's school, and one ... drumroll, please ... to someone I don't know! Another mom said she tried to buy it but couldn't -- will have to look into that more with her.

Ok, back to scattered thoughts. (Not that I ever really left them...) I guess that's all of them for now, really. That and I need to reduce my cleaning lady's hours (or let her go) due to our income situation, and I don't have the nerve. But I have another week or 2 before I have to do it. She probably makes more than we do at this point--- definitely! -- yet I am afraid to say anything to her.

*Sigh.*

Alright Already, Resolutions

I haven't even thought of making resolutions in, oh, ages. But this year the Internet keeps asking and asking.. nag, nag, nag, okay okay, I'll do my homework already!

I find myself with a bit of unexpected free time this afternoon. So this seems a fruitful way to spend it, unlike my usual blogging which sometimes just seems pointless and self-gratifying. (Betcha can't do this in the shower, eh, fellas?)

• I resolve to get some traction in my life this year. Some that feels like my feet are firmly on the ground, not just that my husband dragging me along (which is a good thing he does, don't get me wrong).

I really feel like I don't know who I am anymore, and I can't just blame it on being a mom. I started to put parts of myself away as soon as Husband and I hooked up, and it's not really his fault either (as much as the lazy part of me would like to simply throw up my hands and blame it all on him).

• I resolve to remember what I like to do and do some of those things.

• I resolve to find at least 1 new thing I like to do BY MYSELF and find the space and time to DO IT regularly.

• I resolve to clear the clutter in my home and mind. (It's much harder to get rid of physical clutter now that it's actually worth something on ebay...)

• I resolve not to make any more resolutions since these are Pretty Big already.

Ok, on to my next time-waster... haiku! Got so serious about those resolutions I almost forgot that it was Christina's post that finally made me do them.

I've always felt I
can't fail if I don't try, but
this year I'll be strong.

Haiku, Do You?

My confidence got a real boost this week.

This was the last week of my Business Plan Boot Camp, wherein I and several others attempted to wrestle vague ideas out of our heads and make them not only sound lucrative but also back that up with hard numbers – in 5 weeks' time. Yesterday we had to present the highlights to the rest of the class. (Which wasn’t too scary since there are only 3 of us who made it all the way through.)

And what was I doing Wednesday night INSTEAD of preparing my PowerPoint slides? Driving to Brooklyn for the chance to meet, or at least, I hoped, see, the writers of two of my favorite blogs, Dooce and finslippy. What a chance! There they would be, so close! I expected the place to be mobbed. And it was, sort of – the 50-person backroom of a bar had about 80 people in it. But where was everyone else? As it turned out, it was such an intimate gathering that I had the chance to speak to both of them.

I also read from my high-school diary, and everyone laughed in the right place and applauded, which was a confidence booster of its own.

But I kept thinking, how is it that I am here and the entire rest of the Western world is not? This is New York, we are supposed to be so cutting edge! And these are 2 of the best bloggers out there!

When I got home my husband looked up Dooce’s blog for the first time and commented, “She’s got a 7 [Google ranking] – six is really hard!” In other words, zillions of people visit her site and link to her.

So it turned out to be the best possible thing to do on the night before my final presentation, because it made me feel like I Am Not Wrong. My ideas can work.

I have an odd mix of failure issues: On the one hand, I am desperately afraid to do anything I might fail at. On the other hand, I tend to think everyone else is more right than me anyway, so why bother.

And this – this made me feel like I get it. For once in my life, I am one of the ones who get it. And that feels good. Really good.

A poem to end the post, in honor of another thoughtful mommyblogger’s Haiku Friday:

Moms connect online.
Today show doesn’t get it;
Can it be, I do?

Hard to imagine --
How can I be cutting edge?
It’s a whole new world.

Maybe, just maybe,
My ideas are not wrong!
What do I do now?

Groundhog Hangover

Now that my Very First Post is out of the way, here's what I wanted to say that made me go through the laborious process (not) of starting a blog. If I'd known it was that easy I'd have started one a long time ago; why didn't anyone tell me? Sheesh. Anyhoo..

I was doing dishes after reading blogs this morning and had this thought but it sounded, not to flatter myself, like someone else. So, since that person is a better writer than I think myself to be, I thought I'd write the thought down!

And then I wondered, do women who blog and read one another's have writing styles that gradually move closer together, like that menstrual-cycle thing where women who live or work together have cycles that gradually happen at the same time each month? Ah, thank you Internet, I found the name for it: "synchronous menstruation." So I guess this would be "synchronous musings."

Which brings its own set of musings, as it would appear that the jury is out on whether that synchronous periods are a real phenomenon or not. With most of the critics being men, and most of the women being all, "Duh."

And now I've quite forgotten my original brilliant thought. Oh, yes. The party. So, I had this kickass party for Duckyboy on Saturday. We had a Groundhog Day party, complete with banners (with groundhogs), games (with groundhogs), and snacks (shaped like or reminiscent of groundhogs and/or their burrows). Everyone who wasn't feverish or contagious was there, toys were strewn everywhere, Duckyboy now likes to say "It's not a party until someone's in their underwear" (me and my big mouth) and, I thought, a good time was had by all.

Until this morning. Now, Monday morning is always a bummer at our house, coming as it does on the heels of 2 days that involve lots of Mommy and very little homework, not so many rules, and little need to sit still and quietly for long periods of time without a TV on. Today's bummer began, as usual, with coaxing the poor kid out of bed at 6:40 am, and proceeded to a stint at the still-partified kitchen table and this:

DB: Mommy? Can I make a groundhog? [One of the crafts I had lovingly handcreated for son and his little friends.] I didn't get a chance to make one at the party.

Me: Expose chest. Insert knife into heart! Dissolve into sobbing mass on floor. Oh, wait, still have to get the kid on the bus in 5 minutes and he's not dressed yet... Of course, sweetie! I didn't realize you didn't make one!

(We'd made a sample together a couple of days beforehand; frankly, at the party, I forgot.)

We made one then and there. Yes, even before I made him get dressed. How could I possibly have put him on the bus without having made a groundhog???

DB: I tried to tell you, but you were too busy helping S. make hers.

He didn't tell me. I'm perceptive like that. He may have also been sitting there and if I was Truly A Good Mother it would have occurred to me that he wanted to make one too. But honestly, I don't even remember him sitting there.

Am therefore spending part of today trying to figure out how to make it up to him when he gets home. Reliving the party, with him as special guest, is ranking high on the list. Without the bagels though, since I've eaten or frozen all the rest. I will make punch -- any excuse to make punch! -- and even have his very own ice ring in the Bundt pan in the freezer.

That was a big hit, let me tell ya --want to intrigue a bunch of 5-year-olds? Float an ice ring, preferably one made from juice that's a different color than your punch, in a gigantic bowl of punch. (Hint: Plastic punch bowl from party store preferable.)

What? Punch-phobic? Pfft. Obviously you didn't grow up Methodist. Punch rules! Can't believe I haven't used my punch bowl since Duckyboy's first birthday party in '03 -- now I don't want to put it away. Again thank you, Internet, for the ideas for this punch:

• 1 container orange juice (No Pulp! "X Pulp! We don't drink no stinkin' pulp," say my son and his sensory-issue-challenged friends. OK, so they don't use those words. Though he might say the "X pulp" part.) If it makes you feel any better, buy the calcium-added version. I felt a tad better about feeding it to my friends' kids that way.
  
• 1 2-liter container of lemon-lime soda. The more store-brand, the better.
• 1 ring of ice --water mixed with purple grape juice makes the orange pulp turn brown as it melts. (Which is good for Groundhog Day, even though I found that out by accident.)

Purple grape juice, you ask? Who buys that stain-producing stuff anymore, don't we all use the white nowadays? Well, yes. Except that Communion hasn't made the switch yet, for that the purple stuff still rules. And since I just stopped doing the setup (long story there), I had half a bottle in my fridge. Which I don't let Duckyboy drink due to the stain factor. Except when he wants some from the little communion cup I saved for him.

Oh, and now in case someone's got something to say about that: My view is, at his age, I'd rather have him have a positive view of The Lord's Supper as something that is for him, as opposed to seeing it as something that he's not allowed to have, which is NOT, trust me, going to have a wistful, dreamy-eyed, "Gee, I hope I can have that someday" effect that it might on someone else's kid. I also let him eat the leftover matzoh. Well, not ALL of it since he'd never have a bm again. Whatever else is left we save to feed to the ducks in Kissena Park. Did you know that ducks like matzoh?

Well, I've written a paragraph that includes both my faith and ducks; I think my work here is done.

Post Number One-- No Pressure

This one's easy. I am starting this blog because there is a hole in the blogosphere -- I could say, Cheeky Lotus, this is all your fault. You took a hiatus, so what the heck else am I going to do once I get to the bottom of finslippy's blogroll? Actually start one of the projects that make me feel bad about not getting done? Oh no. This way I can waste more time on the internet, dontcha know.

Speaking of finslippy, this selection of blog style is for you, since I, well, admire ya and all. Not that you know me but I know you in that weird Internet way. And not to forget Kathy, for the record you told me -- oh, when was it, 2 years ago? -- that I oughta have a blog too. So, finally, enough of you stopped blogging and so all of you have made me do this. Humph. But I'm not really mad.