Where the H*ll Did All This Shame Come From?

While Husband and I were having our regularly scheduled chat with a professional friend this week, I discovered that I feel very ashamed at not being able to figure out what I want to do with my life. It was amazing how much better it felt just to have someone --practically anyone! -- tell me that it's OK, normal, to need time to figure it out. What a concept!

And of course my father's voice pipes up then -- steps to the microphone at the Everybody Committee meeting, as it were -- and intones, "There is no figure it out, just do."

Yeah.

Which brings us to BlogHer '09, and the post I've been putting off for over a week. I've been having trouble articulating how I feel about BlogHer, because like many attendees --as the posts about the conference I've read so far indicate-- I have a mix of delight and disappointment, good and bad.

I had high hopes for coming away from it with a Plan. MY Plan. A way to move forward in a way that would be monetarily fulfilling and personally gratifying.

Holy Grail, anyone? OK, so I'm a dreamer. And just when I thought I didn't have any dreams!

But I didn't get anything that specific from the weekend. Lots of good contacts and ideas. But I feel even further away from Getting Anything Done (see Dad's voice, above) than before.

Which makes me feel like I have to run faster and succeed quicker and better.

Which just makes me tired and want to surf the web and watch TV.

Hence the lack of a BlogHer post or any pictures up yet.

That was very helpful, thank you for listening! Your check for this session will be in the mail!