Haiku, Do You?

My confidence got a real boost this week.

This was the last week of my Business Plan Boot Camp, wherein I and several others attempted to wrestle vague ideas out of our heads and make them not only sound lucrative but also back that up with hard numbers – in 5 weeks' time. Yesterday we had to present the highlights to the rest of the class. (Which wasn’t too scary since there are only 3 of us who made it all the way through.)

And what was I doing Wednesday night INSTEAD of preparing my PowerPoint slides? Driving to Brooklyn for the chance to meet, or at least, I hoped, see, the writers of two of my favorite blogs, Dooce and finslippy. What a chance! There they would be, so close! I expected the place to be mobbed. And it was, sort of – the 50-person backroom of a bar had about 80 people in it. But where was everyone else? As it turned out, it was such an intimate gathering that I had the chance to speak to both of them.

I also read from my high-school diary, and everyone laughed in the right place and applauded, which was a confidence booster of its own.

But I kept thinking, how is it that I am here and the entire rest of the Western world is not? This is New York, we are supposed to be so cutting edge! And these are 2 of the best bloggers out there!

When I got home my husband looked up Dooce’s blog for the first time and commented, “She’s got a 7 [Google ranking] – six is really hard!” In other words, zillions of people visit her site and link to her.

So it turned out to be the best possible thing to do on the night before my final presentation, because it made me feel like I Am Not Wrong. My ideas can work.

I have an odd mix of failure issues: On the one hand, I am desperately afraid to do anything I might fail at. On the other hand, I tend to think everyone else is more right than me anyway, so why bother.

And this – this made me feel like I get it. For once in my life, I am one of the ones who get it. And that feels good. Really good.

A poem to end the post, in honor of another thoughtful mommyblogger’s Haiku Friday:

Moms connect online.
Today show doesn’t get it;
Can it be, I do?

Hard to imagine --
How can I be cutting edge?
It’s a whole new world.

Maybe, just maybe,
My ideas are not wrong!
What do I do now?