Morning Rant

I could not meet one of my child’s basic needs – to eat.

I made a mistake (forgetting to bring his breakfast downstairs) that MADE HIM CRY as he got on the bus,

which I couldn’t do anything about.

I hate THAT THAT WHOLE BUS PROCESS IS OUT OF MY CONTROL. I HATE that we are always running late and now the matron has muttered something about the DOE guys or some sort of inspector timing them as they pull up in front of the school building, so we need to try extra hard to help them be on time (and in fact we like her and the driver and wouldn't want them to get in trouble).

I also HATE to make a mistake, it makes me feel ashamed and angry at myself.

I hate that I feel like that. I want to be different.

I want to be able to say, "You have to wait, I have to run upstairs and get his breakfast." I've done that before, but with the whole inspector thing I feel cowed. The idea that a mistake I make can get someone else in trouble freezes me.

All this over a flippin’ Pop-Tart, which is close to the world’s worst breakfast in the first place. Geez!