Feeling Like I'm the One in Kindergarten

Why do teachers have a way of writing suggestions that make me feel incompetent? We are having a bit of a go-round with DuckyBoy about breakfast.

The background:

We went through this earlier in the year, with him getting to school and bitterly complaining he was hungry (I imagine "Whiiiiine, grooooooooan, complaaaaaain as though he hasn't been fed in daaaaaaaays") -- even on days when he ATE.BREAKFAST.AT.HOME. Now, the school offers free hot and cold breakfast, but there aren't many choices he can have since almost everything has some type of dairy product in it. Especially, I've noticed, bulk foods for mass consumption: whey and powdered milk are cheap, filling, and using them keeps the dairy farms subsidized. I get it.

But this does not help my whiny son -- who probably gets to school, sees his classmates eating, and smells it, and wants some. He IS very suggestible foodwise-- if we read a book at bedtime that mentions food, he often remarks that he's still hungry -- even when he just had a snack. (Curse you, Amelia Bedelia! Just kidding. We love Amelia.)

If I were to fix and eat an elaborate breakfast each morning, he MIGHT eat something at home too. But then there's the time factor:

I get up at 6 AM. I consider this a **great sacrifice** I make for DuckyBoy's education. I don't understand why an 8:10 early period sounds like a good idea to anybody, but that's another story. From my own school-bus days as a country kid, I do understand why a 20-minute drive takes an hour on the school bus -- hence our pickup time of 7:10. So, fine.

I aim to get DB up at about 6:40. Should be 6:30 but in winter I have to dry my hair so I'm never quite ready. I also get his lunch and snack prepped by waiting to get him till 6:40 (or 6:45...). He's not very awake, and it takes most of that time to just help him wake up enough to tolerate clothing, shoes, a coat, and brushing his teeth and hair. HE.IS.NOT.HUNGRY.YET. Short of opening his mouth and shoving food in, I do everything I can to suggest, tempt, cajole, or just offer breakfast to this kid. Did I mention, he is not hungry yet?

For a few months he happily took a Pop-Tart to eat on the bus, and it seemed to last him until 10:30 snack time. About a week ago he was sick and I think it didn't taste good; now, he wants nothing to do with them, and I can't get him to want anything else.

So. Obviously his dramatic pleas for food tug on his teachers' heartstrings, and obviously they think I do not even try, since yesterday their note in part suggested frozen waffles or pancakes as an easy, quick breakfast idea -- stemming from the fact that they've been trying various foods at school, and DuckyBoy liked those things.

I HATE getting notes like that!! Because it completely discounts the possibility that maybe, just MAYBE, I have SCOURED the health food store for the flavor, shape and brand of dairy-free waffle (like Vans Maple Fusion) and anything else this kid MIGHT eat?

And that I REGULARLY check the labels of the big-name brands he sees ads for (Eggo, thanks a lot) to see if just maybe, this month, they have reformulated to remove the milk ingredients.

And that I DO cook extra waffles, pancakes, and French toast on the weekends and they sit untouched in the fridge until Friday when I finally eat them myself or throw them out.

In my reply note I tried not to sound too defensive, but I had to point out that not only does my freezer already contain quick and even somewhat healthy breakfasts, my fridge and cabinets do as well. In other words, which I did not say, I'm open to suggestions, but suggest something I can use!

I also always feel like they see me as this lazy slob -- "Ugh, lift a finger to make you breakfast? No way kid." When in fact I'd cook anything IF I thought he'd eat it. Really, I would.

Let's review. Slow eater. Sensory issues. Picky eater. Special diet. Just woke up. This is my fault HOW?????

The fact remains, he does need something in his stomach to get him through the first few hours of school. The rest of the note revealed that a discussion between DB and his teachers yielded a request for Rice Krispies, Corn Pops, and rice milk to have on hand. That, I replied, I can do.