Dear Cable: Knock It Off!

Look, Time Warner Cable and Viacom. I don't care who wins this, just end it right now!

Do you think I wanted to wake up at 7 AM to that obnoxious ticker running across Noggin, saying "You will lose this network!" so my 6-year-old screams in terror, and then when I call the number you provide, turns out there's not really anything I can do about it?

How obnoxious.

After I read some reports I'm tempted to be on TWC's side due to the (minimum) 25 cent increase in my monthly bill and for the amount of increase requested. But that ticker! My kid has enough anxiety already, thankew.

Work it out! How about you jettison all those MTV channels and just keep the few everyone actually watches -- Nick, Noggin, Nicktoons and Comedy Central? Maybe then you won't have to raise my bill at all.

I actually wouldn't mind DB's watching less TV for a few days or longer -- I'm pretty sure they'll work it out, and we'll certainly get by with the remaining kids channels available -- I just don't like him being used as manipulation tool.

My Holiday Cooking

The haute cuisine at my house. These are Holiday Crabby Patties: Tofutti cream cheese on oyster crackers (drat you, Bobbie, for that idea!) with added holiday sprinkles.

Apres-Christmas Haiku

I got great gloves seen
on a BlogHer network ad,
nice and cozy warm.

At one point wanted
to go home, then realized ...
I was home. Oh dear,

Then things got better;
One kid hard, with no playmates
to show the new toys.

Grandma pinch-hit, then
I got another great gift:
Son played by himself!

Merry Christmas to the A&P Lady

Merry Christmas to the checkout lady at the West 12th Street A&P in Erie, Pennsylvania. She gave me this pin when I was about 5 (circa 1970, to save you the math).

I don't know the lady's name, don't even know if she's still alive, but my mom tells me she loved seeing me every week when we did the grocery shopping. So one Christmastime she gave me this pin, and I've worn it almost every Christmas Eve since.

She's a little freaky in the picture with those glowing green eyes, but then again, I'd probably be a little freaked if I really saw an angel anyway.

A Day of Milestones

First, I dropped DB off in front of his school without walking him inside. I waited by the car until he was inside, but had every confidence he knew where to go.

Why? It was flippin' coooold, and icy, and no good or even sort-of-good parking spaces were available. So I gave him the option: Walk 2 blocks with me in the 14 degree cold, or I drop you off right in front of the building, and I'll make sure you get inside but have to stay by the car.

He chose wisely.

Next, at bedtime he had a loose tooth! He's not sure how he feels about it -- first excited, then nervous. But that's totally normal.

(He solemnly told me that I am allowed to come to the gingerbread-house project tomorrow afternoon as long as I: Don't burp or fart, don't tell anyone about his loose tooth, and [said with additional sternness] have everything I need. Ooooo-kay then!

Finally, I completed the sessions of my first telecourse tonight. As the teacher! I loved it so much.

A very good day.

Disappointment. Now! With Reassurance and Helpful Pats on the Back

Three children misbehaved on stage at the school concert this afternoon. Two were in pre-k, and no one expects much of the four-year-olds. One was my first grader.

At least the people around me chuckled when DB acted out. So it's not like I have to hang my head in shame.

And the teachers were all very concerned about me. Which is kind of embarrassing but nice that they care. Even his teacher who never talks came out into the hall and really seemed to be sincerely trying to reassure me that he did, if not well, not soo awful -- and that it was a BIG, stage-fright-inducing crowd.

DB has been grousing at me recently that I "care too much" (about him). Usually he says it when I'm trying to clean his nose or fix something on his person. It's a good thing that he's needing a bit more space between us, and I'll try to give it to him without his always having to ask. But on a grander scale, I don't know HOW to care any less.

On the way home today he asked me if he loved me. (He had to know I was disappointed with the shouting he did at the concert.) I love every chance to remind him that yes, I love him and always will, and nothing he ever does will change that.

We got some cool snow today. DB had a blast helping me brush off the car, and even reminded me, though I don't know how he even knows, that our new brush telescopes out -- a feature that came in handy for brushing 2 inches of wet snow off the roof of the car.

He'll be alright someday. Because I care too much.

Casting Call: The Movie Of You

Which actors would play your family members in the Movie de You?

I think for Husband my best choices include Ed Norton...


Kevin Spacey, though I can't imagine Kevin Spacey with facial hair but it could work -- and, uh, Kevin, you're looking a little old, sorry...

and Russell Crowe, who's gone from hottie to snottie in my eyes but I think could pull off the complex depth of personality that IS Husband.

They'd all have to go on an un-diet but actors seem to enjoy making a cheeseburgers-and-scotch daily Sacrifice for their Art.


For DuckyBoy, I'd have to do a casting call for some precocious young cutie like Haley Joel Osment used to be.

BTW, did you know the David Mamet play on Broadway Osment was in closed after just 1 week? You'd think John Leguizamo, Cedric the Entertainer and he would be agreat team. Maybe people are finally sick of "ugly beauty" (to borrow a phrase from the video review) and, given the economy, not too interested right now in the problems of 3 foul-mouthed would-be crooks.

As for me, I'm hoping you have some ideas. Here I am at my best...

and in a candid moment with DB (and Oreo the horse):

Whaddaya think? Annette Bening, maybe? She's so gorgeous, but also on par with Kevin Spacey in terms of age. Who's younger and not emaciated and maybe not quite as beautiful but looks nice? With no trace of an interesting ethnicity?


Hmm.

Prayer for a School Day

God of all creation,
I ask that you be with DuckyBoy today,
comfort and guide him,
support and uplift him
wherever he is --
on the bus, in class,
in concert practice,
everywhere.

May he feel your love,
be filled with a sense of abundance,
and be moved to share his many blessings
with those around him.

Amen.

Saving for Swimming

Poverty Party update:

I'm proud of us that we've figured out a way to SAVE CASH, yes, cold hard cash, out of our weekly budget to pay for DuckyBoy's 2 weekly extracurricular activities, swimming and gymnastics. I don't mind saying things like "No, we can't go to Burger King today because we did X or bought Y instead," but I'd hate for him to not get the little bit of physical activity he gets in his life due to funding issues. Plus, swimming is one of the only things we MAKE him do, so there's that bit of character building that we get thrown in for free with each $40 swim lesson. He always enjoys it when he's there, but sometimes complains beforehand.

Fittingly giving my previous post today, one of the areas we're cutting out is the liquor budget, which Husband has more of an issue with than I do.

I plan to enjoy the lulling effect of watching DB swim this afternoon, and hope the humidity of the pool room and aforementioned lull help the hangover.

In other news, we're thinking of spending upwards of $10k on business coaching. Eek!

Hangovers: Worth it or Not?

Hangovers used to be worth it. You'd drink the wine, feel good, have a great time, and just deal with the feelings the next day.

A few hangovers weren't worth it, like when you wake up and can't stand up. But garden-variety had-a-few-glasses-of-wine type were usually easy enough to soldier through.

But now? Maybe it's because I'm older, maybe it's because I have to get up at 6 am, maybe it's because I work at home (and the comfy bed and couch beckon for a snooze), maybe it's all those things combined.

But this is difficult. The only thing I can say is I DID enjoy the wine last night! And I know I have to pay the price.

More and more, though, the price is getting too high.

How about you?

Library Fun Haiku

Cutting out snowmen
all day in the library,
things we do for kids!

I like library
at DB's school, it's more like
craft time for me.

Nervous to start with
Feared I didn't know enough
but it's really fun.

Feel free to find other haikus at Christina's blog

Breakfast Link

Come on over to my other blog about our adventures with DuckyBoy's school, for the latest breakfast saga. It's really a smaller story than a saga, but the word saga sounds better.

It involves a 6 am start, hot muffins, microwaveable bacon, minds that change from upstairs to downstairs, and transition issues. What more could you possibly want from a post? Haha.

I also managed to brush his hair and get him to brush his teeth this morning. This isn't rocket science, I'm amazed at how difficult it is to accomplish every day. In his fourth year of some form of 5-day-a-week school.

I must be doing something wrong. (The fact that he has NO interest in any self-care doesn't help. Don't most kids WANT to do that sort of stuff, "I'm a big kid now" type of thing?)

For $6k a Month I'd Expect a Better Lifestyle

I'm noticing a cyclical mood swing: Every month when it's time to pay the bills, I get freaked out about spending down our savings on unknown business ventures with an unknown payoff date and amount! Guess I'm just perceptive like that. Hmm, $0 in, $6000 out, Aggghhhhhhhhh!!

On an up note, my wonderfully supportive life coach reassures me today that I am a much different woman than he started working with 2 years ago. I don't feel different enough, meaning I wish I was a different woman who has a flexible job that earns $100,000 a year. I find savings in bits and pieces -- like cutting out $300 a month for a life coach. I will take you up on your offer to email you, Bill ... or maybe I'll just pretend I'm talking to you in my blog, who knows.

Doesn't $6,000 seem like a lot? For it we get to live in an apartment building that's been poorly managed for decades (recent changes notwithstanding), in an apartment that though having been entirely gutted and remodeled just before we moved in 5 years ago, is not up to code in terms of electrical and has peeling paint in the bathrooms.

We also drive a 7-year-old (paid-off) car that we all love but is starting to need more care than we want to pay for.

In order to really save on those monthly expenses it's big things that need to be cut -- like our car, which is kind of a necessity given where DB's school is vis a vis our home, and our weekly expenses - uh, food and the like. I could (and do) drive less to save on gas.

I'd eyeball the digital cable bill, since we're paying for the service on 3 TVs, but DB and Husband would probably cut out eating before they gave up cable. I can try turning off my computer every night to see if the electric bill goes down. We could switch to a cheaper phone service or cut back to the most basic level, since we have 2 cells as well. (The idea of not having a landline at all kind of freaks me out. We needed it during the NYC blackout of '03.)

We do need to look at our life insurance, which is currently more than $100 a month apiece for the 2 of us.

Our weekly cash is $500, which covers groceries (and liquor), the cleaning lady (yes, I could give her up, but she's like a member of the family), the laundry machines, our parking space (if you've ever tried to park in Forest Hills you know that as long as we have the car, we need this space), anything we do on weekends, any night-out activities, babysitters, and pocket change (with which I buy stamps, socks, fast-food kid meals, give to charities, and the occasional toy; not sure what Husband buys). I'm also buying Christmas presents with my weekly cash. We've just decided to cut the monthly cash amount back by $40 a month so DB can keep taking swim lessons next semester.

I feel like we're stretching that weekly dough about as far as can be.

Beyond that, it's where we live. Between the mortgage and the maintenance and the current maintenance assessment, plus the parking space, the cleaning lady, the laundry machines, it's over $3000. Moving would probably cost $6000. So how much lower can we get those expenses to recoup that? Can we buy ourselves two months? Is that worth it?

I feel like I'm a frugal person who's good at finding a few dollars here and there to save. Not that you'd know it from this blog, which was started when I was in high-income mode. At a certain point I realized I was spending more time on combing the coupon circulars than it was worth, given our income, so I stopped. I'm back in sale-shopping mode but don't do the store-hopping I did the last time we were unemployed. Part of the reason I did it then was to have somewhere to go with the toddler DB. When I was lucky, he napped as I bargain-shopped.

Now, I'm overwhelmed by the $6k number, and though I'm saving $1 here and there when I can, I feel like finding ways even to save $20 here and $50 there won't add up to anything helpful in the long run.

I guess we need a better handle on how long we think these businesses will take off enough to cover our monthlies.

But every month I get more and more worried that it won't be soon enough.

Last but not least, got to give props to Bossy and her Poverty Party for making me think critically about the issue instead of freaking inside, which is what I usually do.