The Ugly Duckling

From just before age 3 till at least or almost 4, DuckyBoy's favorite movie was The Ugly Duckling, given to us by DuckyBoy's pre-preschool ABA teacher (who wasn't really very ABA but that's another story). He used to watch it every day we'd let him, and more than once if we'd let him.

It wasn't long before I got the metaphor loud and clear -- my son IS the Ugly Duckling, and it very well may not be until he grows up until he finds his place.

He hasn't watched it in many months -- but is home sick today and asked to put it on. It doesn't hold his attention so much any more, which is a wonder that it ever did since there are few wheeled items and, horror of horror, musical numbers with very little action. But still, it's playing in the background while he plays a computer game. (And, just now, making up a little song that rhymes, mind you, about how much he loves the game.)

And so, the day after we reviewed his kindergarten progress report en famille, I am thinking again about how he does not quite fit in with the school regimen. Husband and I were surprised that he received "at grade level" marks in computer and science.

Did I mention he's playing computer games On.His.Own.Laptop? How is he not above grade level in this subject?

And the kid knows more than I do about electromagnetics and everything else there's a Magic School Bus book about. How is he not above grade level in science?

I'll have to wait until conference on Thursday to ask. It could be that waaaaay more is expected of kindergartners these days than I think. But it also may have something to do with the curriculum being presented, the way in which they are asked to learn about it, or the way in which they are asked to repeat the knowledge they've gained. But this much is true: Something doesn't fit.

I feel at risk for being One Of Thoooose Parents ... you know, the ones who demand My Little Genius be given full credit for all the intelligence We Know He Has!

But the way I see it, he's in a program that's supposed to be teaching him in such a way to use his strengths and develop his weaknesses. I hear about the development of weaknesses and see improvements in those areas. So I'd like to ask why it doesn't look like his strengths are being maximized.

Whatever the shortfall is, maybe those are areas we all can work on:

* If the subject matter is too basic, maybe I can help by explaining to him how, say, 3D shapes are important to know for, say, planning the trajectory of a Mars rover.

* If the way the material is presented bores him, maybe he needs a fidget or a reward for sitting through it.

* If the way they're asked to repeat what they've learned is the sticking point, maybe there is a need to experiment with other modes of "testing" --as far as I know there aren't tests per se in kindergarten but maybe there are alternatives to whatever they're being asked to do. (If it's color and write words, for example, those are his toughest areas. Maybe he could bring it home, or fill in blanks, or choose from multiple choice.)

The only other area where he was below grade level was for "Writes daily." No surprise there. He comes up with great stories; he just hates writing them down. I know the actual process of forming letters and spelling words is a chore for DuckyBoy; don't know how to solve that one but maybe I can put my head together with the teachers. At least I can suggest that maybe this is something that needs to be addressed on his IEP, instead of something that needs to be endured by him (and by them-- they set a timer and, I imagine, have to babysit him during that whole time).

I'm confident my ugly duckling is going to be fine as an adult. I just don't want him to feel bad about himself in the meantime for things that are differences, not faults. I don't want him to lose those strengths, like storytelling, imagination, and curiosity -- due to sheer disinterest in the way he has to do those things at school.