Contrasts

Same beach (basically), but two very different experiences. His issues? My expectations? The presence of dad? Probably a combination of factors. You be the judge:

Part 1.
On Friday afternoon DuckyBoy and I went to one of the big state parks near us, Jones Beach, just to get to the beach once this summer. We went to the nature center first, since I was pretty sure he'd like that. Since we got there late in the day, we had the place to ourselves; he got to help the ranger feed the turtles (and I fed a live cricket to the toads), we also saw frogs and mussels and a starfish (who was eating a mussel -- very cool), played with the puppets, and he was pretty good about walking the boardwalk they have set up around the dunes. Not much to see, so I'm sure it wasn't his thing, but he didn't complain too much. We dug around outside in the sand in the "bone yard" they had set up, he was into that as well.

He must have been getting hungry since he asked the ranger if she had anything to eat; she didn't, but showed us what other part of the park to go to.

We were the next-to-last car to leave the nature center; they block off the entrance at that time of day, so we were sort of "locked in"; he liked that, and even said, "Being closed in the nature center makes me feel ... fun."

Then we headed down the parkway to the beach with the Friendly's concession. Silly me, I was looking for an actual Friendly's so at first I missed it, but we doubled back and found the right place.

By then it really was his dinner time, so the first thing we did was order nuggets and fries, which they had (scoring big points with DB), then picked a spot on the beach to spread out our blanket and eat them. Our spot was pretty close to the concessions, but I didn't think that mattered; we were there just to be there, I had no expectations. I didn't even care if we went in the water.

So, he ate and we watched the seagulls inch closer and closer. I love to make up conversations with the animals -- "I'm just being neighborly, standing here close by in case you need to throw away a french fry, I'm here for ya," -- that kind of thing. I drew a circle in the sand around the blanket and told the gulls to stay behind it, which tickled DB to watch them inch up to it ... and, to our surprise, not cross it! Which elicited much laughter on both our parts.

And then, we ran into friends we haven't seen in, like, a year, and spent an hour or so with them, closer to the water. DB built a sand castle, we told a story about the miniature king and queen (and all the princes and princesses and ladies in waiting and knights and cooks and butlers) who lived there. He LOVED telling a story with a REAL prop right in front of us. LOVED it.

So, all in all, a great afternoon. Just 3 hours, we never even put our swimsuits on, and it didn't matter.

Part 2.
I had such a good time with him that I wanted to go again on the weekend. So we went back on Sunday, with Husband too, good sport that he is to brave the area's most popular state park on a holiday weekend afternoon. It wasn't overly crowded, but the parking lot was full for the beach we'd gone to on Friday so we chose another, with a much further walk to the water.

Well.

As soon as we arrived, DB started to ask when we could get nuggets and fries. Now, Husband and I have had.it.up.to.here with this kid's proclivity to eat tiny bits of food at mealtimes and then be Insistently.Hungry.Again in, like, 2 hours. So we weren't in the mood to pay to feed him when we'd just eaten lunch an hour before. He couldn't have been THAT hungry. I figured it was more his trying to recreate the routine from Friday.

Since the concession/showers building was far from the water, we needed to put our suits on before spreading out the blanket and settling down. Well, he didn't want to put on his suit. Poor Husband had to deal with that one. Didn't help anyone's mood.

Once that was accomplished, we headed across the sand. He wanted to pick a spot right near the building (partly repeating the routine, partly he hates to walk.) Husband and I wanted to go in the water, so we made him trudge. Whine, moan, complain, can we get Friendly's. Can we get Friendly's.

It was a far enough walk that we weren't looking forward to making a special trip back up to the building just to get him the food, especially since we still didn't think he was THAT hungry, so we said we'd get it LATER.

Oh, geez. Too vague. Whine, whine, whiiiiiiiine; it was so bad that Husband and I jointly stopped more than once and contemplated going right back home. (We're rarely on the same page like that, so that was actually good for our relationship, though we'd of course rather not have been having to deal with it at all!)

We told DB, and reminded him it would NOT be fun-n-games with Mommy at home, or relaxin'-with-the-TV; he'd be in his room, alone. So he had to pick. He did his best to complain less.

So, finally, we get near to the water and get the blanket set up, and his sand castle building stuff, which he was looking foward to on the ride out. And he's STILL asking about those d*mn nuggets and fries!

Then Husband went in the water and pronounced it cold. OK, so he went in a little later, and I coax DB down to the water's edge (he only walks on the sand with his Crocs on, mind you). I tell him he just has to get his feet wet, he's whining and complaining about that. I tell him no nuggets and fries unless he gets his feet wet. He still is close to freaking out.

Finally his feet get wet, it's not sooo bad, then we tell him he can stand or sit on the edge while Husband and I go in just a little. Like, literally, not even up to my waist. I just wanted part of me in the water, so I could tolerate his fuss, fuss, fuss by the seaside. Fine, whatever.

Then, suddenly, he's screaming; there were flies on the water's edge and he got bit, since, duh, he's standing still! I know I should be more sympathetic but I just am not. *Sigh.*

Anyway, that got us out of the water and back to the blanket, where not only does he want to drink my lemonade instead of his specially-picked root beer, but he also wants to sit.on.my.lap.

Yes, the child will turn 6 years old tomorrow, and he wants to sit on my flippin' lap at the beach. Husband nixed that for me, which I appreciated since I don't know how to say no.

And again he's asking about the nuggets and fries. We finally had to use our standard ultimatum, which is: "We know you want them. You know we're going to take care of you. So if you ask about it again, you don't get it." And we got out the Pringles, which helped too.

So then he settled down a bit and directed me on making a sand castle for him. (This is a running joke with Husband now, that DB is the Executive and I am the Do-er; like this morning DB said, "Let's tell a story about a car, it's his first day of first grade but he is scared. Not like me, I am not scared." And then he sits back and expects me to tell the tale.)

And so, I made a sand castle. He turned out to be interested in the sand underwater at the bottom of the pail, and the bits of shells and whatever we could find to float in the water; "a miniature beach!" he called it.

So, OK, he's interested in something beach related, I'm happy.

And, since the sun was bright and we didn't know about the umbrella rentals back at the building until after we'd trekked to the water, we didn't stay too long, us with our Germanic-Scottish pale pink skin.

He was good about not being able to take the "miniature beach" with us, pouring it out when we left. After much discussion, he also seemed to like stepping on the day's sand castle; Friday's we had left as-is. (So it was just as well we didn't return to the same beach to find it gone!)

Finally, finally, he got his nuggets and fries, and didn't even complain about standing in line with me for it. He was happy to eat it on the way home -- even suggested that himself -- and ate a good amount of it, too.

But geez, Husband and I were pretty emotionally drained!

On the upside, though, we Got To The Beach As a Family Once. And the day after, sounds like the water was closed and even some of the parking lots at Jones Beach, due to tropical-storm related high tides. So we went on the right day, for Husband and me anyway!